ANDARIEL IN LIFE

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

2008-02-13T09:18:00.000+08:00

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

GOOD YEAR

2008-02-13T09:09:00.000+08:00

[FreN said] This year - being the year of the RaT will be a good one for us RoosteRs!

[FreN said] The misery should end. The year of the RaT will be a prosperous one for us RoosteRs.

[I said] (in introspection) How is it that I'm still miserable?

before/ previous

2008-02-08T11:56:00.000+08:00

'Before' should always be followed by a noun, so don't put it at the end of a sentence.
Use 'previous' instead.

The traineed had applied in the previous year. (NOT The trainees had applied the year before.)

Incompetent Hypocrites

2008-01-27T10:36:00.000+08:00

I am not comfortable when faced with people who do not do as they have said.

ALERT

2007-05-31T11:08:00.000+08:00

Symptoms: [Sneezing][Cough][Feverish]
Diagnosis: Common flu

Cause: [Overcrowdedness][Insensitivity][Weather]

Prescription: LemSip Capsules & Chinese Cough Syrup

I Was Bubbled!!

2007-05-29T08:53:00.000+08:00

Date:28th May 2007

Time:7.00am

Activity: Getting Ready for Basic Counselling Workshop

Mood:Annoyed

The day did not start off on a good note. I mean, WHAT NOTE? I was scurrying around that morning, searching for a SUPPOSEDLY nice top. Digressing a little, I don't have much of a choice if you can really consider black and white choices. My wardrobe has been sanctified into a ying and a yang territory. Translation: [Right side - White] [Left side - Black] So all the fiasco that took place that fateful morning was really unnecessary. I stepped out the front door a little after 7.45am.

Time:8.00am

Activity: Making my way to the Basic Counselling Workshop at SRJC

Mood:Annoyed

I was still at the bus stop. I made up my mind to take the bus and train and nothing else that day. I sure did choose the RIGHT time to save cost. I got really tired of waiting that I almost ran down to the road to stop a COMFORT cab that was leisurely cruising down awaiting passengers. Up, the bus, down again, walked briskly to the train station and waited. Time check. 8.15am!

Time:8.30am

Activity: !!

Mood:Annoyed

Called Jac up because I was beyond desperate. Whilst in the train, I realized that I should have alighted at AMK simply because there were so many buses that could take me to my destination. Enough said, I asked Jac for the location of SRJC. Funnily, she was as clueless as I was! But, she explained to me what I could potentially say to the cab driver should he or she didn't know how to get there. Walked over to the taxi stand only to find a LONG queue of people and NOT a single taxi in sight! Made my way to the bus stop and decided to resign to the fate that has been written for me that day. What else could be worse? Time check: 8.50am!

Time:9:15am

Activity: Bubbled!!

Mood:Murderous!!

I arrived at the Fusion House only to find that an examination was going on. No sign of a workshop anywhere in that vicinity! I pulled myself together and in the sweltering heat made my way to the GO.

Clerk: Yes?

Me: I understand that there is a Basic Counselling Workshop conducted here. Can you tell me where the venue is?

Clerk: Oh my.. They didn't tell you about it?

Me: (under my breath: DUH!! I wouldn't be here asking you about it if I had known!!) Tell me what?

Clerk: They've cancelled the course. They didn't tell you about it?

Me: WHAT?!?!

Clerk: A few others came down as well..

Me: It's ok then. Thank you!!!

I didn't know what to do!

I felt really cheated.

I was seriously looking forward to the course!

I made my way out of the premise!

Fuming mad!!

I'm A Really Big Girl Now

2007-05-27T08:37:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday To Me..
Happy Birthday To Me..
Happy Birthday To Me..
Happy Birthday To Me..

No, of course I'm not trying to pass hints at anybody, less anyone in particular. Birthdays have become something that I've embraced as an entity that provides me with an elevation point from which I can see the world a little clearer. Whenever 27th May swoops down on me, I feel the need to grow up a little, reshuffle my priorities, do some (if not A WHOLE LOT) of self reflection AND I make it point to tell myself that I'm a big girl now. Really BIG!

No, I don't want to be reminded of my birthday. In fact, I hate to be reminded of my birthday. Not for any egoistical reason. But, simply for the fact that, my time in this world has just gotten a little shorter. Don't you agree? And YES! I'm scared. A lot of uncertainties are looming in the year ahead. I don't even know what to expect. But. I've learnt to take it all in my stride. I remind myself that I have to be well-prepared. For the bad. Or the worse.

Sigh.. Happy Birthday to me!

But hey, I don't mind the presents. Really.

OH ADIKKU...ZUHAIRAH MOHD. AMIN

2007-05-20T23:32:00.000+08:00

Adik aku yang nombor dua dah start komplen. Dia cakap aku sejak mulakan kerja mem'blog' ni, tak pernah pun nak mention dia dalam blog aku. Dia cakap macam dia ni takde significance dalam perjalanan hidup aku. Apa dah dik oi! Bukan takde significance. Cuma kekadang macam terlalu banyak bende yang aku nak cakapkan sampai terlupa. Bukan sengaja!! Tapi tak berkesempatanlah dik oi! Dah terlanjur aku tujukan entri ni untuk adik aku, nak jugak aku ucapkan Selamat Hari Lahir kepada dia. Hahaha! Hepi tak dik oi?

Kekadang, memang kita, aku sendiri harapkan ada orang yang akan menyebut-nyebut nama aku dalam blog-blog diorang. Bukan, bukan aku nakkan cheap thrill. Tapi betul jugak macam adik aku cakap, dah kita habiskan sehari suntuk dengan seseorang tu, bila pat dia blog pasal benda yang berlaku pada hari yang aku abiskan sehari suntuk tercongok dengan dia, langsung dia tak sebut! Mungkin dia amnesia kot? Asalkan nak cakap pasal aku jer terus hilang ingatan. Entah. Pelik pulak aku fikirkan. Mungkin aku pun buat benda yang sama pat orang lain. Tanpa aku sedari. Mintak maaflah yer. Bukan sengaja!!

HOUSE OF GANDOS

2007-05-20T23:14:00.000+08:00

Aku tak pernah cakap banyak pasal makan. Tapi kali ini, lain sikit. Aku rasa aku nak bilang korang yang dalam banyak-banyak gerai makan, House Of Gandos pat pasar sementara Geylang jugak yang sedap. Hidangan yang disediakan pat gerai ni, kalau nak cakap lain daripada yang lain tu tak jugak. Favourite aku antara lain Mee Tom Yum. Kway Teow Kerang. Nasi Goreng Pattaya. Nasi Penyet dia pun boleh tahan. Aku dah cakap tadi, makanan dia boleh korang dapat pat maner-maner. Tapi rasa sedap yang wujud dalam makanan-makanan di gerai ni lain sangat. Aku pun tak tau macam maner nak terangkan. Sedap giler sampaikan setiap kali aku nak makan pat Geylang, tempat ini jugak jadi idaman kalbu. Walau panas mencengkam. Walau kilat menyambar. Tetap jugak aku sekeluarga pilih tempat ni. Kalau tak dapat, meleleh air liur. Kempunanlah katakan. Mungkin pasal keramahan tauke kedai. Mungkin jugak harganya yang nak cakap mahal tak mahal nak cakap murah pun tak murah sangat. Tapi korang mesti sekurang-kurangnya sekali pergi makan pat House of Gandos ni. Taklah, diorang takdelah bayar komisyen pat aku. Sajer ni aku macam nak kongsi nikmat makan ni ngan korang sumer. Jangan lupa tau. House of Gandos. Gerenti sedap! Oh..oh aku terlupa pulak. Selain si gerai Gandos ni, aku pun sukakan kerang rebus pat gerai sederet House of Gandos. Alahai, cecah kerang dengan kuah kicap campur cili api. Terangkat! Dah gitu, lawankan dengan teh tarik si Mamak gerai minuman. Mak oi! Macam tak nak balik aku jadinya! Tunggang terbalik nafsu aku. Sekarang ni pun air liur aku berjuih, terkenangkan sepinggan Kway Teow Kerang yang dah aku telan tadi petang. Lemak tak lemak. Garam tak garam. Aku dah tak kisah. Janji dapat makan!

2007-05-19T21:57:00.000+08:00

Sigh, I'm enjoying this too much. But my brother is staring into my face even as I'm typing. He is insisting that I go to bed right this instance. Annoying but I'm going to do it anyway!!

GREED

2007-05-19T21:23:00.000+08:00

The only antidote for greed is to look inside our soul and understand the sole purpose we were brought to life in the first place. I heard these words spoken by an abbot recently and it got me thinking. Mankind has been battling greed for as long as we have been in existance. I've come across stories of people who wanted to make their first million say at the age of 30 but even after making tens of millions of dollars still feel the insatiable need to make more.

I get carried away with life sometimes. When I first carved out my career plan, I wanted to work so that I can live. Comfortably. But on hindsight, I now find that I live to work. I let myself succumb to the rigours at work that I wonder what is the whole purpose of doing them. I am not rolling in the big sum. Neither am I getting anywhere in the job. I seemed to have lost my sense of purpose.

I do realise now that I have to go back to the very roots of my soul. Why am I here? What do I want in life? I can answer my second question almost immediately. I wanted money. Still want to. Money brings happiness. And joy. And everything that I could possibly want. But the next question to ask is how much is enough? How long does it take to get enough? Am I ever going to feel satisfied? I became a little frightened when I could ask more questions than I could ever answer. Terrified that I am now stuck in this vicious cycle called life. The recent tragedy that involved a colleague of mine was enough to remind me that life is precious. Too precious to let greed from ever taking over the reins of life. My life.

Information about the 7 Deadly Sins that I got off the Wikipedia. Don't be too quick to throw it aside. Just look at the facts and draw parallels from it.

The "Seven Deadly Sins"', also known as the "Capital Vices" or "Cardinal Sins", are a classification of vices that were originally used in early Christian teachings to educate and instruct followers concerning (immoral) fallen man's tendency to sin. The Roman Catholic Church divided sin into two principal categories: "venial", which are relatively minor, and could be forgiven through any sacrament of the Church, and the more severe "capital" or "mortal" sins, which, when committed, destroyed the life of grace, and created the threat of eternal damnation unless either absolved through the sacrament of confession, or otherwise forgiven through perfect contrition on the part of the penitent. Beginning in the early 14th century, the popularity of the Seven deadly sins as a theme among European artists of the time eventually helped to ingrain them in many areas of Christian culture and Christian consciousness in general throughout the world.
Listed in the same order used by both Pope Gregory the Great in the 6th Century AD, and later by Dante Alighieri in his epic poem The Divine Comedy, the Seven deadly sins are as follows: Luxuria (extravagance, later lust), Gula (gluttony), Avaritia (greed), Acedia (sloth), Ira (wrath), Invidia (envy), and Superbia (pride).
Each of The Seven Deadly Sins has an opposite among the corresponding Seven holy virtues (sometimes also referred to as the Contrary Virtues).
The identification and definition of the Seven deadly sins over their history has been a fluid process and the idea of what each of the seven actually encompass has evolved over time. This process has been aided by the fact that they are not referred to in either a cohesive or codified manner in the Bible itself, and as a result other literary and ecclesiastical works referring to the Seven deadly sins were instead consulted as sources from which definitions might be drawn. Part II of Dante's Divine Comedy, Purgatorio, has almost certainly been the best known source since the Renaissance, though many later interpretations and versions, especially those of the more conservative and Pentecostal Protestant denominations, have instead tended to portray the consequence for those guilty of committing one or more of these sins as being eternal torment in Hell, rather than possible purification through penance in Purgatory.

Chicky Poxy

2007-05-19T16:30:00.001+08:00

I was finally defeated by the Chicky Poxies* on the 8th May 2007. I always grew up thinking that I must be one of the lucky souls on this crowded planet who was overlooked by the Chicky Poxy angel and allowed to live on this good Earth Pox free. Yeah right! My darkest nightmare came through the moment these words were mouthed by Dr Danny Lee; "It is chicken pox." I was not sure how to react, so in that tense moment, I managed to cough out what sounded like a chuckle; although I didn't think that a chuckle or a giggle or a quiet laugh would be in any ways appropriate. I revealed the bright red boils that were fighting to occupy whatever little space there was on my slim frame. Dr Lee could not get his eyes off from my body, no...no I didn't think it was my body, it was the whole sight of these irritable poxies!! He mentioned that the chances of contracting a full-blown chicken pox grew with age. Thank goodness that I got it at this age. Imagine what could happen should I get it when I'm at the ripe old age of say...50?! So I was prescribed the notoriously famous Poxy pills and given a bottle of Calamine lotion to help me get over the itchiness of the boils. And not forgetting an MC, giving me entitlement to 8 days of pure bliss at home; away from work... NOT!

The poxies were in a way scaring the daylights out of me. It was everywhere. My face, head, neck, back, my chest and abdomen, my tight butts and legs. It was totally scary. Not to mention causing me difficulties in lying and sitting comfortably. For fear that I might burst the premature boils, that will definitely cause mayhem on my skin! I was also down with a fever that perpetually stayed at 39 C. I was feeling itchy all over. I was shivering from the inside. My joints were aching. And so were every single boils on my already frail body. I thought the pain was never going away. Sitting up was a challenge in itself. Oh, did I mention that I had boils in my throat and mouth that turned into ulcers. I lost interest in food. And all I did was to eat that confounded pills every four hours, 5 times a day. Somebody seriously wanted to see me suffer. My god. Not to mention that I still had to ensure that the work back in school were completed, that my classes were taken care of. Sigh. I didn't think I did a good job in that. I was not even around when the dancers performed for Institute Day. I felt totally helpless. I had to rely then on other people which I don't enjoy doing one bit. For that, I was more determined than ever to come back to work. Today is Day 10 of my poxies attack, which also means I have spent the last 10 days at HOME! It was...refreshing to be doing that. Actually, minus all the scratching and aching, the 10 days were well spent. With Mommy and Mr Computer. As it is, I managed to also generate the economy right in the comfort of my room. I bought 3 beautiful tops online. I received one of the tops via registered mail today. I always surprise myself with my ability to do all these weird things. Hahaha. I will be back at work on Monday, the evil beings ain't going to be all smiles when they see me back in school. Take that!

*Chicky Poxies is simply how I want to see the dreaded chicken pox - comical!
Poxy Me signing off...

At Long Last

2007-05-19T16:16:00.001+08:00

OMG! I am finally able to blog after having ben refused access to the 'Create A Post' page for the past 2 weeks! I'm beyond esctatic. I feel exhilarated! And a little lost for words, ironically. I got a little desperate that I even set up a temporary account with My Diaryland and poured my feelings there instead. So many things have happened in the past 2 weeks or so and I couldn't blog about it. However, the fiasco with Blogger and all has made me realise what an IT idiot I was, and still am. I subscribed to a particular HELP group and I thought I could manage my problem with as little technical know-hows that I possess. I was proved wrong. I could do nothing. I knew nuts about what all those techo bozzos were talking about. In the end, I could only stare helplessly at the screen, almost always driven to tears. I know, I know, it may sound a little made up, almost drama-like to some but I was seriously jolted by my lack of understanding of the IT world. Which is once again quite embarassing because I am confortable wedged in an IT invaded world. Ohh...Whilst all that were happening, I was down with CHICKEN POX!!

AfterMath

2007-05-06T20:25:00.000+08:00

We arrived at Boulevard Hotel @ Mid-Valley City shortly before 2pm. I am always a little sceptical about checking-in. Are the service personnel friendly? Is the hotel sleazy looking? Are the rooms well-aired? Bug and cockroach and lizard free?

We were pleasantly surprised when we opened the door to Room 1013. Not only was the room well-lit, we had a panoramic view of Mid-Valley. Not to mention the tasteful design of the room. I didn't get that icky feeling of dirt and dust in the room! Score 1 to us!!

We freshened up, dusted and powdered the weariness of the journey away before going out again. Of course the whole point of going to KL in the middle of a school term, lest informing our relevant heads was to head down to PWTC for the Pesta Buku. I wheezed in excitement when I got the whiff of fresh books as we stepped into the jostling arena! Booths after booths stood firm, displaying an extreme repertoire of titles. I went crazy, and seconds later purchased one of the many books I thought could provide invaluable information that would aid me in lesson preparation. It was my first time in a convention/ exhibition in KL and the crowd was definitely adding to the crazy atmosphere! I got more than 10 books in all. Thank god Nora was willing to shoulder the load I have purchased. Or I would have just fall flat on the uneven ground, exhausted.

Next stop was of course KLCC. What else would we go after in bustling KL but California Pizza Kitchen! I have been having recurring dreams about the place that should we fail to have a meal at this place, I would have gone back to Singapore, salivating. The food was great, service was not nearly excellent enough because of the moronic behaviour of 3 waitresses. KLCC was a shopping monstrosity. Rows and rows of shops, carrying renowned labels, nitty gritties and all. We were just as amazed at how crowded the entire place is! The crowd in KL can definitely beat any crowd in Singapore! What say you Singaporeans?!!?

I felt really tired when we finally left KLCC to head back to Boulevard. But the satisfaction of succesfully locating the various titles that I need at the Book Fair more than make up for all the sore and pain. We chilled out at San Fransisco Coffee, after gluttonly ordering Drinks AND calorie laden Hazelnut Cake. It was great! The place was excellent!! Oh ya, we decided to be disgustingly high class when we ordered room service. The house specials caught our eye and we spend the next half our night tucking into a scrumptious meal of pan fried salmon and lambshanks! Woo hoo..

The wailing sound of the wind and the stormy rain kept me up half of the night. (If I'm not making sense anywhere in this entry do understand. I'm even nodding away as my fingers and hands type)

Second day started pretty early. We had breakfast before checking out the shops at Mid-Valley Mall. Pretty interesting observation is the crowd who have already packed themselves in the mall at 10am! Sushi King was where we had lunch. It was satisfying. And before I could do anything else, the bus came to take me away from the bustling city of KL.

The whole experience brought back memories of that extended trip with my colleagues. Since then, KL has been the one way place that holds the memories we had. Pretty sentimental!

Illegal Trip

2007-05-03T01:13:00.000+08:00

I cannot believe it. In less than 36 hours, I will actually be in KL!! Try beating that ya'all! I've made plans already! Apart from going for the Book Fair at PWTC, I am so going to spend my time there eating. We have made plans;

Day 1

- Lunch will be Sushi@ KLCC

- Tea will be somewhere along the BB stretch! WooHoo!

- Dinner will definitely be at California Pizza/ Kitchen@ KLCC

- Late night rendevous at BB again!!

Day 2

- Breakfast@ Hotel (if I can wake myself up in time!)

- Early lunch at KennyRogers @ Legend

This is turning out to be a gastronomic adventure aint?!!

YeeHaa!!

Happy Holidays!!

Kita BOLEH!!

INAUGURAL MEET-UP

2007-04-29T21:25:00.000+08:00

This little project sounds so exciting we could hardly sit still at Pizza Hut yesterday!

I could hardly contain my eagerness I thought I was going to blow up!

Hopefully, this inaugural lunch/dinner session will see everybody back together again!

And thanks to our brilliant idea, I will get to see people whom I've not met for ages!

This is so exciting!

We were so excited we actually braved through the scorching afternoon heat.

And Fullerton came into view.

Triggering another series of plan-hatching.

Not only will we drown ourselves silly at Max Brenner.

We will soon tip the scale when we decide to indulge ourself with a buffet at Fullerton!

And a weekend getaway at Rasa Sentosa Resort!

And then maybe a night or two at one of the posh suites at Fullerton!

Wowee!!

p/s

But dear, I'm really sorry for having forced you to call him up.

I never thought the response would leave you fuming mad!

Apology accepted?

Them. Me.

2007-04-29T21:05:00.000+08:00

I'm having a rough time with the new batch of students.

They are definitely ruffians; displaying unruly behaviors making the Russian mafia look almost angelic.

They are a result of this supposedly modern living we embrace eagerly.

The modern ideas we think we practice.

The liberalised way we carry out our routines.

It's frightening to visualise the future now.

I'd hate to think what Singapore schools might be like in years to come.

I sure don't want to witness it first hand.

I don't to be the ones to handle them.

After every session with them, I always reflect.

I ask myself,

"Have they learnt?"

" Have I delivered?"

"Will they get better?"

"Will they get worse?"

Am I to be blamed?

I want them to enjoy the lesson.

I want them to do well.

Will I ever succeed in achieving those goals?

CheckLisT

2007-04-26T21:18:00.000+08:00

Mark the assignments? NO

Mark the projects?NO

Mark the tests?NO

Updated Profile? NO

Send out Proposal? NO

Record Book Weekly Updates? NO

Lesson Observation Follow Up? NO

Procrastinate? EVERYDAY WITHOUT FAIL!

BUT

BLOG UPDATE? YES!!

Sakura

2007-04-22T20:55:00.000+08:00

I promised to take them out for a celebratory lunch!

They deserved it.

Sakura was the point of our gastronomic rendevous.

Idly placed in the middle of Clementi Woods Park, it was a perfect spot!

Woody but quaint nonetheless.

Of course I didn't mention that to them.

All I did was rant about how humid the weather was.

It didn't help that the place was tucked away from civilisation.

It only meant more sweat inducing walk!

I gathered they had a good time from the amount of food they slapped on their plates.

And the peals of laughter they choked out during the entire duration of lunch made me smile.

At least I know my money was well spent!

It did set me back a little.

There goes my N96.

3 cheers for... me?

Pizza Guy!

2007-04-15T11:13:00.000+08:00

It was the wonderful aroma of freshly baked pizza that tickled my attention.

I saw him juggling the 2 boxes of pizza, with a badly crumpled bill and handphone.

Not forgetting his icky looking helmet.

Definitely not someone I'd like to see delivering my pizza.

What more with the 2 pizzas appropriately balanced under his slightly drenched armpit!

I was presented with a good sociological moment, so I trained my eyes at his every move.

At one point, I almost felt like the Black Widow.

He went up to the 6th floor.

I lost interest the moment I couldn't detect that wonderful smell of pizza.

I busied myself with my Ipod.

Glanced at my watch to see that it was past 7.25pm.

Sigh.

And then he was there again.

The pizza guy I mean.

Looking anxious.

Like a lost sheep.

He pressed furiously on his handphone after casually placing the 2 pizzas on the stone seat about a metre away from me.

He probably thought I was there to help him look after the pizzas.

Think again boy!

I was actually devising ways to grab the pizzas and leave as quickly as my heel bound feet could carry me.

And then I remembered the brother, my brother whom I was supposed to fetch.

Plan B.

I will...

"Excuse me, is this block 468D?"

The pizza guy was looking down at me, shoving the bill into my face.

"Well, ya..."

"Alamak, macam maner ni. Abih, unit number betol tak? Unit number?"

Errghh!

How would I know?

"Agaknya salah kasi. Aah, takpelah. Eh thanks thanks!"

Ok. What about my reward?

A slice of pizza would already be good enough to fill my more than empty stomach!

He rushed back into the lift.

I thought that was quite a stupid move.

I also happened to know that the unit number on the bill and the ones displayed on the signboard just above the lift area were not similar.

Hmm.

He came down again soon after.

I thought he looked a little relieved.

I don't think he succesfully located the unit.

He still had the 2 pizza boxes securely placed under his armpits.

He walked on.

But not before turning back, looked at me and said,"They gave me the wrong address! It was 468B!"

I thought a smile was appropriate.

I don't think I would be able to display such a calm disposition after going up the lift twice!

Kudos to you Pizza Guy!!

Picking Up!

2007-04-14T11:03:00.000+08:00

Things have slowly but surely returned to what I deem as normal. I'm no longer drenched in cold sweat. No more shudders. No more tense moments. I'm feeling ok. Much better than I've ever felt in a LONG while. Thank goodness for that cause I have not been able to focus on my job. It was annoying really. Especially when I know I have no control over such fragile aspects of human relation!

I'm not sure if I mention having been promoted to the next level anywhere in this blog. Promotion can only mean 2 things! First, and most importantly of course a pay increment! Yeah! Major extrinsic motivation that will spur the most incompetent being to doing something at work. Haha. Secondly, with every promotion comes that extra baggage of stress! Increased expectations! More responsibilities. I'm not sure how I will fair. But at this point I'm just taking it one step at a time. Appreciating the finer things at work.

Post-ComP

2007-04-07T23:15:00.000+08:00

It was a BIG relief the moment they got off the stage that fateful morning. Ever since I took over, things had been harsh. A little too harsh. Many a times I was driven right to the edge. Maintaining the rapport was important. Earning their respect was another. It was miraculous that I managed to pull the team together administratively. NOT to mention that countless practices held on Saturdays. Venue. Time. Attendance. Attention. Emotional well-being. Money. Datelines. More money. Expectations. Like he mentioned, at times I do feel like standing up and strutt my stuff to show them what I meant!

Thursday's dialogue session did not make much sense to me. Half of me wanted only the results! Endured the eye-opening session until the moment Gn announced the results. The team clinched the Silver award. Great! All the effort paid off. They shed not only sweat. But blood and tears literally. I'm happy for each and everyone of them who have worked they ass off the past months. They might feel the pangs of disappointment but I felt proud of them. Weird enough as this may sound, I am looking forward to the next time I get to lead the team again through the tumultous journey of the SYF!

Woman Power

2007-03-30T08:57:00.000+08:00

Grab it while you can!

2007-03-27T20:01:00.000+08:00

Thanks buddy for helping me sort my thoughts out today.
Something has triggered those thoughts.
As I went through the process with you over the numerous SMSes,
I realised that there is a world beyond the borders of my workstation.
A world that offers a million and one solution to this pressing dilemma of mine.
A world that is evil and manipulative and cruel.
A world of opportunities nonetheless.

[AndarieL]
Oh Mighty One.
Protect me.
Protect my family.
Help me find the path.
Guide me.
Please.
Amin.

Old Boat, Dead Boat?!

2007-03-27T09:03:00.000+08:00

Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who sank it. Joe spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening. Unbeknownst to him, his brother John's wife died suddenly.

When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery. A kind old neighbor woman mistook him for John and said: "I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible."

Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said: "Hell no! Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good and smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway. The darn fools tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle!"

The old woman fainted.

Help Me

2007-03-24T20:50:00.000+08:00

It seemed to me that I have done something wrong.
But nobody is saying anything.
Nobody wants to tell me anything.
I cannot go on like this.
Or, Is this how you want your revenge?

[Andariel]
Emo Alert.
Drowning myself in PM Dawn's Faith in You.
Because no one has faith in me.

2007-03-19T12:13:00.000+08:00

It sucked.

My heart's palpitating.

I'm breaking out in cold sweat every five minutes.

I cannot feel my fingers even as I'm typing.

I'm counting down the days to the next holiday.

Even my homies didn't act normal.

Sigh.

2007-03-18T20:45:00.000+08:00

I met up with my ex-students just yesterday. Feeling very apprehensive about the whole outing initially, I was glad I didn't back off because I had great fun with them! It was not the piping hot pasta we had at Swensen's that made me not regret me move. It was definitely not the chaotic atmosphere over at the Marina Superbowl. It was simply their company. The chance of listening to what they have succeeded in achieving over the past two years since they left school. Their excited faces when asked about what they have done or still are in the midst of doing. It was that twinkle in their eyes when they talk about the memories we shared in school. I didn't feel old. Instead I felt totally rejuvenated. Basking in the warmth that seemed to radiate off every small talk we had. Every hearty laugh we shared. It was tremendously exciting! It did not matter at all that I totally fumbled during the game. Hahaha! Thank you guys for creating that space for me and welcoming me with open arms!

Don't Write Me Off Just Yet [Serious]

2007-03-14T23:35:00.000+08:00

It's never been easy for me
To find words to go along, with a melody
But this time there's actually something, on my mind
So please forgive these few brief awkward lines.

Since I met you my whole life has changed
It's not just my furniture you've rearranged
I was living in the past
But somehow you've brought me back
And I haven't felt like this since before Frankie said relax.

And now I know, based on my track record
I might not seem like the safest bet
All I'm asking you, is don't write me off, just yet.

For years I've been telling myself, the same old story
That I'm happy to live off my so called, former glories
But you've given me a reason, to take another chance
Now I need you, despite the fact, that you've killed all my plants.

And though I know, I've already blown more chances
Than anyone should ever get
All I'm asking you, is don't write me off, just yet
Don't write me off just yet.

AndarieL [Thinking/Reflecting]

If I was to be the music,

would you ever be

as willing

to be my lyrics?

TimeLine: SaturDay

2007-03-11T22:29:00.000+08:00

10:03[Landed up in DeliFrance in the morning. To kill time. That added to a total intake of 500 Cal]
10:45[When I received that call, I froze. I wanted so hard to please her. Without her knowing. Made it in time. She looked ok, a little distracted and distant though. I didn't want to add on to her misery. Hyped myself up.]
12:12[This direction idiot ironically steered everyone to NYJC in record time! Applaud moi for successfully making sense of the ever confusing Street Directory]
12:40[The mee goreng tasted amazingly delicious. Cudos to that kakak! Sampai jilat jari babe!]
13:10[We proceeded to the venue. It was still empty despite the time. Could it be the venue? Or lack of professionalism?]
13:20[I caught his eyes! Or so I like to imagine. His presence was certainly a BONUS. Woo Hoo!]
13:31[Birai GPA diselak. Mungkin aku terlalu mengharapkan mutu pengelolaan yang baik. Namun, kesilapan-kesilapan teknikal yang kerapkali menjejas kelicinan aturcara membuat aku rasa malu. Entah. Apa cerita seh? Cg K2 pun sampai tak senang duduk! Budak-budak tu memukau aku dengan takat keyakinan yang membanggakan. Persembahan yang sarat dengan pengupasan tema. Nyanyian yang mantap, takde pun terkeluar chords! Ekspresi muka yang menggendong seribu makna. Gerak tari yang bertenaga. Alamak! Tak sah lagi diorang pilihan aku untuk angkat dua tempat yang pertama.]
14:45[Kita orang cabut kejap. Melepas sesak di dada! Sambil aku melangkah naik anak-anak tangga, terasa berdetak jantung aku bila bab melintas si dia. Giler tak aku ni? Senteng! Naik bingai seh!]
16:59[Sampai balik, cukup-cukup nampak si SP beraksi. Ok ajer, aspek visualnya tak sah lagi memang menonjol. Aku naik seram!]
18:28[MI rangkul lagu terbaik. Yang lain poly angkat! Entah apa si pengadil jadikan kayu ukur sampai persembahan yang kurang kupasan tema pun boleh menang! Sekarang aku yang bingung. Apa sebenarnya GPA? Walau apapun, aku tahu orang mesti bilang "Bijan lu rok ah brade!"]
18:45[Dia memang emo agaknya. Hati lembut bak tofu. Nangis babe!]
19:05[Headed for TPY. I was pretty limp at that point. Delifrance again. To end my day. The iced cafe mocha I ordered was the much needed elixir at that point.]
20:30[Waded through the shops. That aside, considerable damage was done. Seeing how my bag was quickly filled up with purchases after purchases.]
21:50[Squeezed onto the train that speedily brought my aching physical lump back home.]

Faith In You [AndarieL]

2007-03-09T21:16:00.000+08:00

I don't kiss the future like the fortune tellers do
So I can't dream with you at night
Pessimism's hunger changes everything
I wish I walked with faith
and not sight but
You know with anything you do
There's a hundred people bringing you down
No matter who you are
Don't let them make you cause they'll break you
Don't let them love you cause they'll hate you even more

When no one else
Believes in you
I'm completely yours
I've got so much faith in you
No matter what this life
Puts in front of you
You can save this world
I've got so much faith in you

Anyone who knows you sees the renaissance in you
And I have to try and act surprised
"Prime demotivator" says my point of view
I wish I
Had some cheer to lead you to but
No matter how much good you do
There's a million people wishing you harm
I'm telling you
No matter who you are
Don't let them make you cause they'll break you
Don't let them love you cause they'll hate you even more

There's a million things that I could say to you
Don't let them change you inside
Because anyone who matters
Will try to understand who you are

[AndarieL in Thought]

That's life in a nutshell

You can never

trust someone completely

They will bring you down

Someday

Somehow

Learn to manoeuvre your own course in life

Chart your own path

Plan your destination

Do it with faith

Setahun Sudah Berlalu

2007-03-07T18:39:00.000+08:00

Gurindam dan irama

Tidak lagi ku hiraukan

Setelah api cinta terpadam

Apa yang tinggal kini

Hanya sisa kesal kelmarin

Menjadi simfoni mendayu

Pada setiap malam minggu

Setahun sudah berlalu

Februari muncul kembali

Dengan kehangatan semalam

Tanpa ku sedari

Ku petik mawar merah

Ku tulis sekuntum puisi

Tapi sayang pada siapakan ku beri

Kesepian memaksa

Ku lihat wajah di cermin

Terpandang parut di mukaku

Bekas cinta yang lama

Apakah tidakkan hilang

Kesan cinta yang terus mendatang

Bermain di jiwa ini

2007-02-27T10:51:00.000+08:00

These things should not even be considered as worthy blog entries; who on this good Earth wants to know the qualms I have about everything in life. But since you people are begging for me to post something on my blog...

Finally I realised how user-unfriendly MOTOROLA phones are. Well I got myself the M (Red) recently. Pretty on the outside. Disgusting on the inside.
Work ain't good anymore. The players are playing too hard at winning the game.
Pesta Perdana 9 telah ditutup tirainya. Penabalan Era Farida dan Rafaat Hamzah sebagai pelakon wanita dan lelaki terbaik di persada dunia seni setempat menjadi bukti betapa penonton serta penggerak seni telah mencapai tahap kematangan yang lebih tinggi. Kayu ukur yang digunakan tidak lagi hanya bergantung sepenuhnya pada ketampanan atau kejelitaan pelakon TETAPI keyakinan serta kebolehan seseorang seniman itu menggarap skrip serta menjiwai watak yang diberikan. Syabas!

Pencalonan bagi Pesta Perdana ke-9

2007-02-19T16:59:00.000+08:00

24hb Februari nanti. Panggung Caldecott bakal digegarkan lagi dengan kemunculan PP9. Kecoh betul Suria dengan paparan pelbagai gimik dan iklan bagi menarik perhatian bara penontonnya untuk sama-sama menjayakan majlis itu nanti. Sebagai penonton, memang sepatutnya kita sokong majlis-majlis sebegini yang sebenarnya menaikkan status para penggiat seni tempatan ke satu tahap yang boleh dibanggakan. Memang betul belum boleh kita samakan dengan pencalonan-pencalonan bagi Oscars dan Guild Awards. Tetapi, sekurang-kurangnya, sesetengah barisan artis yang telah dicalonkan memang berhak berasa bangga kerana mampu berdiri sama tinggi dengan artis-artis seberang tambak. Namun, seperti PP yang pernah dianjurkan pada tahun-tahun yang lepas, PP9 ini tidak boleh lari dari kontroversi-kontroversi hangat lagi merimaskan. Aku pun tak ingin menyentuh hal yang mungkin boleh menyebabkan aku disaman jadi kali ini aku pulak nak duduk di kerusi pengadil dan menilai sejauh mana para artis dan penggiat-penggiat seni wajar menjunjung takhta masing-masing.

PELAKON LELAKI TERBAIK DALAM WATAK UTAMA
Aaron Aziz [Garisan Takdir-IMO Productions]
Rafaat Hamzah [Dian 3-ReAct]
Adi Putera [Mengapa Tiada Maaf-Eaglevision Productions]
Osman Sulaiman [Cinta Q-Eaglevision Productions]
Rafaat Hamzah [Dimensi Ke-4-Eaglevision Productions]

Pilihan AndarieL - Rafaat Hamzah [Dian 3-React]

Lakonan Rafaat memang mantap dalam siri Dian 3 kali ini. Mungkin apa yang dilakonkan merupakan paparan realiti dilemma yang dihadapinya? Sebab itu berkesan sangat. Suara dia, emo dia yang meluap-luap membakar kaca TV aku. Entah. Tapi aku betul-betul suka.

PELAKON WANITA TERBAIK DALAM WATAK UTAMA
Ariati Tyeb Papar [Dimensi Ke-4-Eaglevision Productions]
Era Farida [Dimensi Ke-4-Eaglevision Productions]
Nurul Aini [Cinta Q-Eaglevision Productions]
Seri Wahyuni Jaes [Hanyut-Menagih Dakapan Screenbox]
Nurul Aini [Garisan Takdir-IMO Productions]

Pilihan AndarieL - Seri Wahyuni Jaes

Aku rasa mungkin senang sikit nak jiwai watak-watak emo bermasalah. Atau mungkin aku yang emo dan suka tengok lakonan-lakonan emo orang lain. Apa pun, aku yakin Kak Seri angkat trofi tahun ni. Nurul Aini aku tengok mantap sikit tapi belum cukup nak saingi kematangan Kak Seri. Era Farida oklah jugak. Tapi aku lebih suka tengok Cik Sal pegang watak-watak bermasalah. Macam sesuai gitu.

PELAKON LELAKI TERBAIK DALAM WATAK PEMBANTU
Azhar Nor Lesta [Cinta Q- Eaglevision Productions]
Khairudin Samsudin [Hanyut – Menagih Dakapan-Screenbox]
Nick Mikhail [Erlin Montel-Eaglevision Productions]
Rahman Rahim [Cinta Q-Eaglevision Productions]
Suzairhe Sumari [Cinta Q-Eaglevision Productions]

Pilihan AndarieL : Khairudin Samsudin

Kematangan Khairudin dalam melakonkan wataknya itu memang sukar nak ditandingi walaupun dia bersaing dengan pak-pak mapan seperti Azhar dan Rahman. Dan kali ini watak yang dipegang Suzairhe semacam tidak membantunya menonjolkan potensinya secara maksima.

PELAKON WANITA TERBAIK DALAM WATAK PEMBANTU
Farida Yusof [Garisan Takdir-IMO Productions]
Fizah Nizam [Cinta Q-Eaglevision Productions]
Jainon Pari [Cinta Q-Eaglevision Productions]
Mastura Ahmad [Dimensi Ke-4-Eaglevision Productions]
Rahimah Yusof [Sampul Surat Untuk Semua-Eaglevision Productions]

Pilihan AndarieL : Mastura Ahmad

Senang sahaja aku buat pilihan aku ni. Watak apa pun yang dipegangnya, mesti menjadi. Tulah dia Kak Mas.

ViraL Fever Alert

2007-01-17T16:31:00.000+08:00

I noticed that I was shivering a little more last Friday when I came back from that fruitful DREAMKAYA team talk. I thought it must be due to the torrential rain that had hit town pretty hard that morning, leaving most of us drenched, not just on e outside really. It was nearly 11 pm when I came back. As much as I remained warm inside, fuelled by all that talk about making more money, I realized that I was freezing outside. I thought a warm bath would warm me up a bit. I ended up not wanting to leave the warm bathroom, even after soaking under the boiling shower for a whole 45 minutes.

Saturday came, and it didn't feel too good for me. After duties in school I had lunch but I was freezing a little too much I was freaked out really. I wrapped myself up in my blanket the moment I got home and stayed that way pretty much throughout the night. Sunday came and I felt like I had been rolled over by a container truck twice over. My limbs were throbbing, my head was pounding and my bones were rattling away inside. The chilly weather did not help matters and soon enough my temperature sky-rocketed. My face was flushed, and remained that deep red shade throughout the day. I felt angry at everything. Sore at the fact that everyone was glowing in the pinkest of health. I was kept awake most of the night because I was shivering so much. The thought of school simply sent bouts of nauseous attacks.

Monday came gloomily. I cannot pull myself up, so that spelt MC in the boldest of letterings. I had to visit the clinic and with my mother in tow endured the queue before I finally was allowed my time with Dr. Jane. She suspected I had dengue!! I nearly fainted not from the mention of dengue but really this whole business of blood test and going to the hospital just frightens me. A LOT! She also diagnosed me with stomach flu, which was causing the wretching. I felt weakened at the sight of all those medicine. But when I got that call from my colleague, I felt like I was going to fall dead at that moment. Some people just don't have an once of empathy and sympathy in them. It's ridiculous to think that I asked to be ill! Ain't?

Re:Miniscence

2007-01-02T12:28:00.000+08:00

2 days into the new year. And I'm already feeling a little stale. All the hype about 'a fresh start', 'a new beginning', 'new year's resolutions' and what-have-yous is not doing much to help calm my jitters. I am perfectly aware of the reason behind this 'hangover' of sorts. The unfinished business of 2006 that I have stored somewhere in the back of my cupboard will bare its teeth soon enough. Every single year of my life has been filled with joyous memories. Significant moments. Worthy achievements. But bitter times and dark hours has made its presence known too. I cannot help but reminsice these times. And then allow them to form barriers around me. That inhibits the shoots of optimism to break through. Always I feel pulled down. I sense heaviness in my heart. That something terrible will cloud my journey. I want to bask in every moment of my life this year. I want to help myself get up in great strength. I want to enjoy life fully. I don't want to hold back my feelings. I want to let myself go.

Bahasa Melayu? What the...?!

2006-12-26T11:15:00.000+08:00

"Keluarga Melayu Singapura yang berbahasa Inggeris di rumah menampakkan suatu peningkatan seganda - daripada 7.9 peratus (tahun 2000) kepada 13 peratus tahun lalu (tahun 2005)."

Mungkin ada yang merumuskan bahawa peningkatan ini menggambarkan sikap masyarakat Melayu yang semakin galak mengikut arus perubahan setempat dan sejagat yang terus menempatkan bahasa Inggeris pada aras yang tinggi. Jika dilihat dari sudut itu, memang sah peningkatan itu terasa seperti perubahan yang positif. Penekanan yang diberikan oleh pihak Kementerian Pendidikan terhadap penguasaan bahasa Inggeris yang baik memang tidak boleh dipandang remeh. Bahasa Inggeris sebagai wadah universal yang membolehkan kebanyakan urusan dijalankan dengan licin seakan memaksa setiap lapisan masyarakat, khasnya rakyat Singapura untuk menguasai bahasa itu. Lantas, tidak lagi janggal jika kita terdengar sayup-sayup bahasa Inggeris digunakan di majlis-majlis keramaian, kelas-kelas agama di masjid-masjid dan sebagainya.

Namun, masyarakat tidak boleh memperkecil bahasa Melayu. Pandangan-pandangan negatif yang dilemparkan terhadap bahasa Melayu memang menjelekkan. Bayangkan seorang anak Melayu mengagung-agungkan bahasa asing dan menafikan keindahan bahasa sendiri. Bukankah ini suatu sikap yang memalukan, terutama sekali jika disaksikan mata-mata di sekeliling. Cuba bayangkan seorang yang dilahirkan dengan hidung yang pesek dan berkulit sawo matang, yang kemudiannya cuba menyembunyikan ciri-ciri itu di sebalik bedak yang tebal dan bertegas bahawa "Hidung pesek memalukan! Kulit sawo matang menjijikkan!" Hipokrit!

Pendedahan yang meluas terhadap bahasa Inggeris telah mengakibatkan masyarakat membentuk suatu pemikiran yang myopik. Bahasa Inggeris dengan segera dikaitkan dengan kemodenan. Bahasa Inggeris disatukan dengan pembangunan. Bahasa Inggeris dilihat sebagai sesuatu yang mampu memerdekakan pemikiran. Memang benar perindustrian telah dibawa ke rantau ini dengan bahasa Inggeris. Namun, bahasa Inggeris digunakan semata-mata kerana bahasa itu ialah bahasa pertuturan seharian mereka. Itu sebahagian daripada ciri-ciri yang membentuk jati diri mereka.

Apa pula nasib kita jika bahasa yang menjadi identiti diri kita itu hilang? Bolehkah kita terus dipanggil orang-orang Melayu? Adakah Melayu bakal menjadi label bagi mereka yang berkulit sawo matang dan berhidung pesek? Tidak! Masyarakat Melayu kini tidak lagi memikirkan persoalan sedemikian. Kebanyakan mereka sekarang bangga kerana mampu bertutur dalam bahasa Inggeris. Mereka kini berbangga dengan gaya hidup moden yang sebenarnya diciplak dari aturan kehidupan masyarakat asing. Mereka kini mendendangkan lagu-lagu yang asalnya tidak menentu.

Tatatertib orang-orang Melayu? What the shit!

Bahasa Melayu? I'm sorry but I don't speak the language!

Kiranya, bahasa Melayu kini bak telur di hujung tanduk. Sekali ketis, jatuh dan bersepailah isi telur.

[Renungan AndarieL]

Aku bukanlah ingin menunjuk-nunjuk emosiku tentang perkara ini. Namun aku kian jelek dengan masyarakat Melayu di sekelilingku; baik yang muda mahupun yang tua yang sewenang-wenangnya mengetepikan bahasa yang aku cintai dan berlagak menuturkan bahasa Inggeris. Kebanyakan seolah-olah malu untuk mengaitkan diri mereka dengan apa sahaja yang ada kaitan dengan Melayu; budaya Melayu, bahan bacaan Melayu, tatasusila orang-orang Melayu juga diabaikan. Yang lucunya, budaya Melayu menyambut Hari Raya Aidilfitri, meraikan pernikahan dengan majlis besar-besaran dan budaya-budaya Melayu yang lain masih pula dijunjung. Bukankah Melayu tu kolot? Kenapa budayanya masih ingin diamalkan?

"Eh, mana boleh tak buat! Apa pulak people say nanti kan!"

VinD

2006-12-23T23:52:00.000+08:00

Sweet taste of dejection.

Wipes the bitterness of sweat drenched.

May nothing delude the goals of years to come.

The toughest will prevail through the thorns of time.

And reap the cup of pride and glory.

[Andariel] (disappointment)

I've always hoped for my phone to mysteriously misplace itself. Quite resiliently, it has shown its extraordinary staying power. Damn.

2in30

2006-12-22T23:48:00.000+08:00

Downpour has ceased. The sun is still in hiding somewhere. But the wind is up. By knots I gather. That is reason enough for me to be...to be...
Wednesday, I witnessed how makciks [who claimed they are suffering from athritis and rheumatism, asthma and shortness of breath and everything else that falls between] jostle one another in their eagerness to grab the best deals at Anglia! And in their excitement, managed to knock me off my axis of balance several times!
Anglia's great sale was great! It was unfortunate that the space constaint brought me great pain.
But not before I gained 5 tops! My card had a good time!
Wednesday did not end there. Orchard was my next target. Well, I was only following orders. These voices in my head.
Orchard was madness. All I could make out were heads. And SMRT chose a great time to shut the entrance to Wisma from Orchard station. Us bozzos had to go up, walk, go down, and go down again to reach the entrance to Wisma!
I blocked faces, smell and noise. Too overwhelming!
By the time I made my way to Far East, my legs were giving way. But the voices were too loud I was left with no choice.
Everything was enticing but my well-developed sense of control won the battle. But not before putting on a tough fight. Well, a belt and 2 tubes that landed in my bag were essentials!
When my butt made its emergency landing in one of the plush sofa at Gelare, I was almost thankful that it there that my legs falter! Anywhere else would be...
I downed my iced mocha, and took notice of the snaking queue behind me. Taiwan Street Snacks and British Take-Aways! The smell though heavenly, was filtered out of my system with great reluctance!
I landed up in a Mercedes cab and my goD I almost didn't want to leave when the uncle drove up to my place.
Thursday came all set with lightning and thunder. I pulled my blankets closer around me and then realized that I had a rendevous. VivoCity.
Blunder Alert: I was already 45 minutes late and I had to miss my stop at Dhoby Ghaut. How foolish!
I had a deja-vu attack as soon as we stepped into the place. People were thronging the place, laden with bags of goodies.
And those prams!! Someone should outlaw prams in public places!! They are more of a menace than the informercials on public alert.
And I don't even want to get started on the bawling babies.
The queue at the cineplex went past pageOne. Naturally, we had to abandon plan to douse ourselves in a little humor Ben-Stiller style.
And all the while my pink heels were silently murdering my feet.
Entry into pageOne after a lot of senseless walking did knock sense into us. Well at least we were looking at things that were...sensible??
I want to live in a loft!
With a walk-in wardrobe. French windows! Lots of wood. And cement floors! Lots of drapes in purple tones!
Sigh!
Nokia 7290 was sold out! Everywhere.
And Vivo is pathetic when it comes to mobilephone shops! Go work on that!
But pathetic as it was, I got myself Lancome's Hypnose. Smell was hypnotic. I was hypnotised so obviously the salesgirl took advantage of me.
Orchard beckoned to us and before we knew it we walking out into Orchard MRT.
Up and down and down again we went into the open arms of Wisma.
Kino turned out to be a disappointment for me. Elizabeth Bear's novel wasn't available and I didn't want to go through the hassle of ordering it through them. So I had to leave empty handed.
And just as it was on Wednesday, I landed up in a cab again.

2006-12-20T00:13:00.000+08:00

Blogdup
What the shit is happening?

Rain, pain

2006-12-19T15:20:00.000+08:00

Its still pouring out there! Dark, heavy clouds are hovering close above, pregnant with condensed air. Sigh...I've to put off my plan to go out yet again.

Take heart. It will soon be over. Will it not?

Pitter, patter VS click, click

2006-12-18T19:57:00.000+08:00

[AndarieL]

It has been pouring since dawn, even as I'm typing the rain is showing no signs of letting off. The icy breeze (ok, ok I am exaggerating just a little bit but it was freezing) was a nice change from the humid air that is synonomous with our tropical island. But, the pattering of rain did nothing to dampen my mood for shopping. Aha, I spent the entire day (almost!) checking out so many things ONLINE! Thank god for the genius who brought us the Internet.

[Screen:Yahoo Auctions]

NWT AUTHENTIC COACH SIGNATURE BLACK SWING PACK HANDBAG
NWT, Authentic Coach Sig Mini Skinny (Brown) * Free Postage
Authentic COACH Vintage Signature Wristlet
...
...
...

[AndarieL] I must have spent my entire bonus in just one afternoon!! At home!! Arrgghh!!

It's 'Hari Raya and block party' but everything is done in Chinese

2006-12-17T10:48:00.000+08:00

That complaint sits very comfortably within the context of our multi-racial society. Don't get me wrong. I am not proud of it, nor am I going to point fingers at anyone in particular. Most of us, sink back into our comfort zone of racial enclaves when we go about our daily routine. No doubt, we acknowledge English as the official language of communication. Unfortunately, mindset is a complex matter. Familiarity tend to overpower the need to be sensitive to others. Being part of the minority group in Singapore, I have found myself in such a situation more than I like to be. I find myself lost when they communicate eagerly in their native language. And I have voiced out my concern to them. They apologise profusely and promise not to repeat that mistake. But the next minute they go back to doing the same thing.

I have since given up on my attempts to correct them. I just slink back, keep my mouth shut and wait until they come to their own realisation. I have always shunned block parties and gatherings for fear of being trapped in that very situation. And it is not only in social gatherings that they step over the line of racial tolerance. Official meetings and important discussions between colleagues are sometimes also conducted partly in that language. And that insensitivity really gets to me. In quiet retaliation, I put on a mask, one that is passive, cold, almost resentful towards them. My meek attempt to hide any helplessness inside.

[Based on an article found in the Straits Times Online Forum]

Beautiful Bali

2006-12-15T17:05:00.000+08:00

Bali was picturesque. Idyllic. Magical. From majestic cliffs. To mountainous locations. Sandy white beaches. Down to the clear blue ocean. Big waves. Amazing sunset views. Patches after patches of paddy fields. Untouched nature at its best.

Day 1

We arrived on the 5th December 2006, greeted by the humble view of Ngurah Rai Airport. I was quite unnerved when we exited from the airport as we were welcomed by hordes of guides; awaiting to pick guests to the island. It didn't help that my guide was holding up a placard with my father's name written in bold.

Day 2

Made our way to Taman Werdi Arts Centre in the morning. It is amazing how things in Bali look totally ancient when some of the buildings have only been around for less than a quarter of a century! Back to Kuta Square, the hub of surfing paradise for lunch. In the evening, we travelled to Uluwatu to witness the temple by the cliff. The view was amazing! The only thing that marred the experience; I developed a HUGE phobia for monkeys! I shall say no more. Jimbaran Bay was our last stop for the day where we had our dinner. Lovely sunset view while we sat by the beach, awaiting dinner to be served. My only gruise was, did they serve turtle meat to us that night? I swore it tasted lovely!!

Uluwatu

Jimbaran Bay

Day 3
It turned out to be the busiest of days. We headed out early. Breakfast at the Samudera Restaurant, witnessing the early morning activities alongside Kuta, melodically attuned to the rise and fall of the waves of the ocean. We were quite content to gaze at the views that were rushing past us as we sit back in the rickity van to our very first Barong Dance. Oh, that was quite an eye-opener. The finale saw a group of men (who were invinicible) stab themselves with the keris without such much a flinch. We were driven up through a series of winding, not to mention extremely narrow roads to get to Kintamani where I viewed my very first, a living, not to mention active volcano (Last erupted 6 years ago!). Mount Batur that was surrounded by the biggest lake in Indonesia, Danau Batur. The cool breeze that blew right at us when we got down our van was welcoming. We had an early lunch at the Wira Jaya Restaurant, ideally located in front of Mount Batur. Never mind the swarming houseflies. The view and fresh mountain air was more than I could ever asked for. As we descended the mountain we made a few stops at the various cottage industries [Kerajinan batik, Kerajinan perak, Bali Coffee] before we made our final stop for the day at Kesiman for the Kecak Dance. We arrived a whooping 1 hour earlier than expected. Pak Aerya brought us to the nearby paddy field and it still hadn't sunk in that I was presented with the opportunity to spend that few moments in a paddy field, by the busy village road spersed only with the occassional sounds of the birds chirping and the local dog whimpering. We got back on the road and sat on the 'ambin' slurping our drinks eagerly (or at least I was!). The dance began shortly after 6:30 pm and as the sun set and the silhouette of the banana trees became highlighted on the darkening skies we were slowly tranced by the rhythmic voices of the performers.

Day 4

I could hardly move my limbs and was somewhat bitter that I had to leave the comfort of my bed. We had to clear the room by 12 pm. The plan for the day? We were clueless. We headed out into the scorching heat of Bali in search of Warung Made. I was drowning in my own sweat when we finally found what we were hunting for. Unfortunately for us, the restaurant serves pork and as much as I was desperate to sink my teeth in something, pork burger did not sound too appealing! We resumed our little exploration of place beyond Kuta Square. A little luck brought us face to face with this kind driver who was more than eager to bring us on a short tour of Legian and Seminyak. We cruised around before deciding to settle into the comforts of Pizza Hut, situated along Jalan Pantai Kuta where we spend our last day in Bali pigging out.

Does your momma know you blog? [BlogTV.sg]

2006-12-14T21:05:00.000+08:00

It really depends on the nature of the blog. I mean. Sift through the array of blogs swirling in cyberspace. You get a million and one things; trashy or precious posted each day.

TEENAGERS vs PARENTS

Mommy's and daddy's alike. They have a penchant for things that they strongly feel are signs of their kids turning astray. When their kids turn to locking themselves up in their room clicking away at the keyboard? "Aha! My kid's surfing porn! Chatting up potential sex partners! That has got to stop!" Even when their kids are not guilty of such charges, parents tend to develop paranoia. They assume things. They measure situations based on their own standards. This will definitely not sit well with kids. Especially teenagers. But no one (except their teenage children) have any good reason to blame them for being that way. Having to shoulder the consequences of any misgivings of the child means that they will be preemptive in their moves. This will immediately result in them being in opposite poles from their teenage children.

Most teenagers are going through a tumultous journey in life. (Having been through that very seat once!) They want to explore. Venture into what they think is the unknown. Do what they deem exciting. Being under the constant surveillance by parents will stifle them. They will look for alternative channels for release. In the technologically advanced state we are in, they can pick out any means that suit their needs. Blogging seem to be one of the many tools that allow them to do just that. It is no surprise that most of them will want to keep it personal. At least out of the grasp of their parents. They tinker with the blog. They give it names that will make them stand out from the rest. They post pictures that sometimes make their parents flush in a crimson shade. They highlight daily doses that puts them on a high. AND they get positive reviews from their peers through the tag-boards. I mean what else can they ask for. It is the one place that they hold the trident to rule. It would be crazy to let their parents in on that haven! I feel that parents should allow them that space. It is their perogative. Sometimes, jugdements are passed too quickly that we tend to overlook things that may be the key to a good parent-child relationship.

CHILDREN vs PARENTS

I do value my privacy. Yes, I do not shut them up completely from my life but I keep certain things to myself. Not in spite. Neither am I scared of the consequences should they stumble upon these things. It is in these things that I learn to be myself. To be responsible over my actions. Away from the reach of my parents. Maybe blogging may sound trivial to some. But it can be a good platform from which one can take off in life. Go figure!

Train Menace Alert!

2006-12-13T11:31:00.000+08:00

[12th Dec 2006][12:01 pm][South-bound train]

With public transport, what you get is everything on the platter. Except comfort. Somehow, such unpleasant experiences more often than not choose to present themselves whenever I'm around. So there I was minding my own business, armed with my Ipod when a bumbling figure of a male in a dopey checkered shirt suddenly rushed in with all madness to look for a seat. In all eagerness, he knocked over two kids, kicked my shoes and left a waft of unplesant air among the commuters. (or so I gathered) If he was old [by old I meant that age group who qualify for the subsidised transport fares], I would have perfectly understood his situation. To get a seat before his athritic muscles or rheumatic bones crumble beneath his weight. That would really have made a lot more sense. That bumbling menace managed to secure a seat when the train pulled into Khatib. Thank god for that cause I swear he was eyeing my seat!

The train moved on smoothly again and whatever foul air that man brought with him dissipated. But it wasn't for long. AAaaaaaCHHOOOOOOOOOOOO! I was jolted back into the reality - the train was now sneaking smoothly underground. No surprise! It was that menace again. Displaying his vocal prowess although confined to only the syallbles Aaaa and Chhooo. That was the loudest, most terrfying sneeze I have ever heard in a public transport! I can still feel the tiny hairs on the back of my neck stand up in fear! As if that wasn't enough to convince all of us in that carriage that he deserves to win the Most Notorious Commuter award, he proceeded to produce the loudest burp ever before sinking into deep slumber! Oh my god! I cannot describe his atrocity enough.

December Goodies

2006-12-11T12:50:00.000+08:00

[Sms sent on the 10th December] AGD CPO/AGD: We will be crediting $xxxx.xx [salary for Dec] into your bank account on 12 Dec 2006. [AndarieL: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!]
[10+ am on a weekday so far...] "Bangunlah, jom breakfast" (Get up, have your breakfast ya...) [AndarieL: Grunts and falls back into deep slumber. No snooze calls!!!]
[Regular smses that almost always sounds like this] We meet up today ok!! Shopping? Coffee? Movie? :> [AndarieL: Whenever you are free!!!]
[Official email] Your SchemeOfWork was due on 4th December 2006. [AndarieL: Deletes the email and feigns total ignorance.]

Unfortunately work is looming right over my head. My task list is quite ready to impose itself. Work's starting in about 2 weeks. What?? 2 weeks!!!

The Taxi Driver And The Tale Of A Chinese Wedding

2006-12-03T23:25:00.000+08:00

I was dreading another annoying conversation with the taxi driver. Yesterday after attending a colleague's wedding, I took a cab home. He sparked off the conversation. "This karaoke bar ah, not cheap leh. $40, 000 a night! My friend kena!" My eyes grew big. Wide enough to scare the moon away. But, at least it was something I wanted to know more of. I ain't the least interested to spend that amount of course. It was the urge to know more that I decided to fuel the conversation to the next stage. "Wah! So much!?!" He went on with the story. "He businessman one. Open 12 bottles. One bottle about $480. Then, the girls also charge high. One girl ah, only sing sing; $38 one hour. They were there whole night!" I took kindly to his story. "Me? I go K-Box can ah. Ask my wife sing!" Hahaha. I made a mental note to ask for his number. I patronise K-Box too. And I can sing. Maybe I can wind up with something from this conversation. Hahaha. NOT!

Silence.

I stared out the window. To spend $400 is extravagant. Not to mention a painful parting. Some people have it good in this life. "He businessman. Can spend ah. We normal people. Cannot ah." "Dream also hard ah!" I added, with what sounded like a miserable tone. "You come back from wedding ah miss? Chinese wedding? Wah, expensive ah!" You can put that on repeat mode. No offence to anyone, but Chinese wedding more often than not burns a big black hole in my pocket. The monetary gift aside, I have to fork out transport fare. Taxi naturally. To and from the venue. I have to get clothes too. I mean, it is a glitzy affair. I do have a reputation to live up too!! "My marriage ah. I think 4 years ago. But lucky. My dinner at Penang. Malaysian ringgit. Cheap ah. Mother-in-law also kind. Never take all the money given. Or else also can die. I spend about RM40, 000. Not bad already. I have a friend ah. Wedding album alone he pay $9000!" I choked on my saliva. "Then, after 1 year, divorce!" I felt nauseous at that point. Love does make one foolish. Only on hindsight would the actions bear its ugly fangs. The taxi driver, all of 40 years old droned on. "Now, I got 2 kids. One 3 years old. Boy, 1 year old. Drink milk only I have to work extra hard! At night also cannot sleep. Baby cry mah." This man takes on his responsibility well. I am honored to be riding in his cab. Lucky wifey to get him. What he lacks in looks he more than made up for it in other areas.

Mum, Now That I Am 14, Can I Wear A Bra?

2006-11-30T17:12:00.000+08:00

Never thought a conversation like this could take place!

"Mom, can I ask you about something?"

"Sure! What about?"

"You see, I'm already 14 and...I think it's only proper that I own one."

"And what is this 'one' you're referring to?"

"Could you buy me a neat set of brassiere?"

"No."

"It will be just proper at my age..."

"I said no!"

"But all my friends wear..."

"David! How many times must I tell you that bras are for girls?!"

Send-Me-Stuff Blog??!

2006-11-28T20:19:00.000+08:00

I came across this during one of my arduous yet colorful blogging journeys. HE begs for items to be sent to him. AND to date, he has had managed to put together what I think is a pretty LONG list of things he has received from companies and businesses around the globe. He puts a bad name to leeches, does he not?

2006-11-28T15:49:00.000+08:00

Guess who's blog I came across whilst I was blog hopping? Afdlin Shauki's! That man is amazing. His entire skeletal system is made up of funny bones! I got a real kick from reading all his entries. But humour aside, he has vision! He does! I saw more than just the hilarious facade he portrays! I have actually decided to feature his keyart for his latest project entitled 'SUMOLAH'. This movie will be released tentatively in February 2007. I don't have to know the storyline to know that it's going to be a scream! Stare hard at the keyart and you will get my drift!

Pasca Pementasan 'Puteri Gunung Ledang The Musical'

2006-11-28T14:23:00.000+08:00

Aku bukan pengkritik bertauliah. Aku juga bukan peminat teater mati keras. Keputusan untuk menonton Puteri Gunung Ledang The Musical di Esplanade telah aku buat berdasarkan publisiti pementasan yang cukup meluas. Sana sini para penggiat seni menggembar-gemburkan kehebatan pementasan ini.

BARISAN PELAKON MEMANG 'POWER'

Barisan pelakon yang cukup gah juga seakan-akan menyeru aku untuk mendapatkan tiket dengan segera. Manakan tidak? Tiara Jacquelina merupakan nama yang tidak asing lagi di kalangan masyarakat Nusantara. (Aku mengenali Tiara sebagai bekas isteri Allahyarham Hani Mohsin) Kesungguhannya menjayakan filem Puteri Gunung Ledang di samping M. Nasir dulu memang tidak dapat dipertikaikan. Stephen Rahman-Hughes. Nama yang agak asing pada pendengaranku sebenarnya seorang yang memang tidak asing lagi dalam persada seni antarabangsa. Kesudiannya untuk melibatkan diri dalam pementasan muzikal ini sudah cukup membuat aku bangga. Mat Saleh yang satu ini sanggup bertungkus-lumus menguasai Bahasa Melayu dalam masa 3 bulan demi mendalami watak Hang Tuah dengan lebih baik. Tidak pun dia rasa jengkel dengan Bahasa Melayu. Tidak seperti sesetengah kenalan aku yang rasa cukup malu berbual dalam bahasa sendiri. (Nak cakap mereka menguasai Bahasa Inggeris yang diagung-agungkan tu pun tidak boleh. English fail!) Adlin Aman Ramlie tidak kurang hebatnya. Aura yang aku rasakan bila menyaksikan kehebatannya menjadi Sultan Mahmud memang menggetarkan seluruh jiwaku! (Oh ya, teman aku cakap dia sebenarnya anak A.R. Tompel! Sungguh tidak kusangka!) AC Mizal sebagai Gusti Adipati memang mengena! Selama ini, aku kurang yakin dengannya. Maklumlah, aku banyak saksikan lakonannya sebagai pegawai polis dalam drama dan filem Gerak Khas. Kurang mencabar. Yalal Chin juga hebat! Watak-watak sampingan yang lain semuanya menjadi! Penari-penari juga tidak menghampakan.

JALAN CERITA

Memang semestinya jalan cerita sudah diubah. Jauh berbeza dari apa yang sebenarnya berlaku. Fokus Puteri Gunung Ledang The Musical adalah pada percintaan antara Gusti Puteri Raden Adjeng Retno Dumilah dengan Laksamana Hang Tuah. (Ala-ala star crossed lovers dalam kisah Romeo & Juliet) Memang manis. Menyentuh jiwa. Cuma yang membimbangkan, sewaktu aku menyaksikan pementasan ini di Esplanade, ada juga penonton-penonton bukan Melayu. Yang mungkin kurang arif dengan sejarah Melayu. Takut pula jika mereka menyalah tafsir inti sebenar kisah Puteri Gunung Ledang. Dalam pementasan ini juga, daulat raja; sumpah Sultan Mahmud itu kurang kesannya. Tidak diperkukuh. Ketaatan Tuah kepada Sultannya juga tidak terasa. Tetapi, memandangkan ini muzikal, pementasan yang seharusnya berakhir dengan tawa riang, aku tabik!

KESAN LAMPU/ HIASAN PENTAS/ MUZIK

Memang cantik. Cukup memukau. Teruja aku. Aku rasa pementasan ini cukup memuaskan aku sebagai penonton. Berbaloi rasanya penantian. Mungkin sehebat pementasan-pementasan BROADWAY! Mungkin ada yang kurang setuju, tetapi pementasan ini memang sudah tentu boleh dibanggakan di pentas antarabangsa. Memang world ah!

Cab oh Cab...

2006-11-26T14:06:00.000+08:00

Aku bengang lagi tadi pagi. Ok ok, aku story sikit. Aku ke tanah perkuburan Pusara Abadi. Choa Chu Kang sana. Dengan keluarga. Memang dah jadi amalan bulanan. Pergi balik memang naik teksi. Aku memang tak boleh naik bentuk pengangkutan yang lain kalau jalan jauh. Boleh pengsan! Kita sampai dalam pukul 9.30 pagi. Lengang! Macam biasa kita pun mulakan rutin. Sedekahkan Yasin untuk arwah ayah. Kemudian, bersihkan kawasan kubur yang agak basah dan lecak dek hujan lebat sejak beberapa hari yang lalu. Selalunya, kita selesai semuanya dalam masa 40 minit.

Hari ni, aku ingat nak elak kesukaran dapatkan teksi untuk pulang. Jadi awal-awal lagi aku dah call teksi. Bila bab call teksi, darah aku memang selalu naik! Pagi-pagi buta pun susah nak dapat teksi! Percaya tak, aku tekap telefon bimbit aku sampai leper cuping telinga aku. Cab tak dapat lagi!! Tunggu punya tunggu sampai dah nak setengah jam. Baru si operator cakap dia dah dapatkan aku satu cab. C*****t cab 'blue color one ok. Come about 5-7 minutes time ok?' Yelah, yelah. Banyak kau punya 5.-7 minutes. Aku pun lepak duduk pat curb. Tepi Block 26. Dah jadi macam picnic lak. Rasa terik mentari pagi menggigit kulit aku. Angin sepoi-sepoi lak tu. Cuma hari ni, ada sikit tengek bau angin yang menderu tu. Bau baja. Baja lembu kot! Mak aku dah lemau. Sambil menggigit muruku, dia tinjau-tinjau teksi-teksi yang ada. Satu biji cab pun takdelah mak...

Kita tunggu sekejap, lepas tu nampak satu cab dengan nombor plat yang dah si operator tu bagi datang. Tapi yang buat aku bingit, bila kita lambai dan kejar, si pemandu cab tu terus cabut! Dia belot ambik penumpang lain!! Ya rabbi!! Aku rasa macam nak pekik-pekau pat situ. Aku rasa ahli kubur tentu bangkit suruh aku diam. Mana ada cab driver yang belot sampai gitu! Aku naik darah dan sebelum darah aku memancut keluar dari ubun-ubun aku, si cab operator call aku. Cakap dia akan carikan cab lain. Aku dah tak larat nak marah, layankan jer. Kita orang pun balik pat spot tadi tepi Block 26, sambung picnic yang tergendala.

Percaya tak, kita tunggu sampai dah nak masuk 40 minit. Baru si operator tu cakap ada cab. Dia kasi nombor plat. Aku dah mula reda. Tunggu lagi. Si operator cab telefon lagi, dia cakap 'that uncle in cemetary already, Path 5. Where are you?' Path 5?? Aku bilang dia, 'Eh, Path 20 lah, not Path 5! That one your grave ah?' Kita berempat dah macam tahu lembik . Terhoyong-hayang, sampailah kita nampak ada satu cab. Pakcik cab tu pun tengah frust sebab penumpang dia dah belot. Cabut! Cantik ah tu. Adik aku negotiate, suruh dia ambik kita sudah. Pakcik tu pun setuju! Selamat! Bila sahaja aku dapat duduk dalam cab, tenang sikit aku rasa badan aku. Syiok punya duduk sampai aku tak sedar aku dah terdudukkan pakcik tu punya shades. Haha. Kesian pakcik. Dan kesian aku, sebab asyik alami pengalaman-pengalaman nonsense macam gini.

Tampines Shoe Thief - Pencuri Kasut di Tampines

2006-11-25T18:57:00.000+08:00

Selepas jam 8 malam.

Setelah bermaafan dan bersalaman.

Melangkah keluar dari rumahnya.

Aku dapati..

[Andariel-Monolog] Mana kasut aku? Eh, biar betul ni, kasut aku hilang?

Memandang ke arah raut wajahnya yang nakal

[Andariel-Monolog] Mungkin dia sembunyikan kot...Kalau dia sembunyikan, bila pulak dia carik chan?

Memandang ke arah raut wajahnya sekali lagi

[Andariel-Monolog] Tak mungkin ah. Apa hal dia nak sembunyikan kasut aku yang glamour tu? Kalau nak gurau, takkan sembunyikan kasut kot?

Aku terus buat tak kisah dengan keadaan aku yang masih tidak berkasut. Mana boleh takde orang perasan. Tiba-tiba...

[M] Ok lah, kita jalan dulu.

[Andariel] Eh, nanti, nanti. Takkan ah nak jalan tak pakai kasut.

[M] Lah...pakailah kasutnya. Apa lagi tunggu? (bengang)

[Andariel] Kasut takde!! (tension)

[CA] Lerr, mana boleh kasut hilang? Tadi kan ada? Letak kat mana kasutnya?

[Andariel] Tepi ni, takde pun sorok kat hujung-hujung! (terus tension) Ada yang sembunyikan ke?

[CA] Siapa yang nak sembunyikan kasut tu? Jadi kerja nak buat tu semua.

[Andariel] Kalau tak sembunyikan, macam mana lak boleh hilang? (kelu)

Semua bersungguh-sungguh ke hulu ke hilir meninjau-ninjau. Hampa. Lebih-lebih lagi aku. Kasut tu aku dah planning nak pakai gi PGL tau!! Sekarang dah hilang! Nak cakap baru takdelah jugak. Tapi masih berkilau. Masih cantik. Walau dalamnya dah rabak! Tu yang aku bengang. Nanti si pencuri kaprak tu tengok dah buruk, dia buang kasut aku tu. Kesian kasut!! Di manakah kau kasut?!!

KudoS

2006-11-25T10:29:00.000+08:00

The holidays have been fantastic. I've done nothing but spend my days in bed. Not that kinda bed activities ok! My bed hasn't been made up nicely since... since... oh you can just imagine! Oh and yes. Eat your hearts out people. I am going to PGL tomorrow!!! VIP box mind you. I can't wait to rub shoulders with the casts. They were great in KL. They will be even greater in Singapore! I so truly deserve this!

Marriage Woes

2006-11-24T20:47:00.000+08:00

[AndarieL]

I did my budget for November. Yeah. This is really not me. But the sheer number of wedding invitations I received has forced me to turn to 'planning' my finances. Or I'd be worthless! Literally! It never crossed my mind how lucrative a wedding can be for the couple! Yeah! Now I wanna get hitched! Not! AND maddeningly enough, I came across these marriage jokes recently. It reeks of gender stereotypes! How is it that women get blamed for the glitches in a marriage? Typical of men to shift the blame.

Marriage Humor 1

In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman.

Since then,neither God nor man has rested.

Marriage Humor 2

Marriage is a three ring circus:

1.engagement ring

2.wedding ring

3.suffering

Marriage Humor 3

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Marriage Humor 4

A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"

Marriage Humor 5

First Guy (proudly) : "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy : "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Marriage Humor 6

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.

I WANT ME PARCEL!!!

2006-11-24T20:08:00.000+08:00

I am a little paranoid at the moment. I have been spending 2 days at home, listening out for the postman to come knocking at my door with MY registered mail. I ain't sure how long they usually take to process the mails but I'm pretty sure 2 days is taking it a bit too far. After all, I did pay an extra $2 for them to take bloody care of my mail! I will wait one more day, just one more day. And if I end up salivating by the door in desperation tomorrow, I will take my case to court. Well, maybe the court is too much. CASE will do just fine. Just wait till I lay my hands on that damn postman who was bestowed the responsibility of bringing me my precious mail! I will make sure he doesn't deliver a single letter to anyone as long as he still draws breath!

UPDATE!!

The poor postman did turn up at my door today (Saturday 25 November 2006 at exactly 1345 hours), looking utterly dishevelled. And wet. AND a little angry too I might add. But of course I didn't give two hoots about how he felt at that moment. All I know was that my cute little parcel has arrived. Graspsed firmly in his hands. I signed the receipt. Snatched the parcel. Shut the door (more like I slammed it in his face) Rushed to my room. Ejected the DVD tray. Ripped the parcel open. Took out the disc. Slotted it in. Yeah. I rest my case.

Funny Feeling

2006-11-24T11:32:00.000+08:00

A funny feeling nudged my insides the other day. Urging me to do what I dread most at the moment. It was done not because of my sense of responsibility. Least not out of love. He would have wanted us to do that. He loved them all. He never verbalised the feeling. It was his actions that spoke volumes. With that in mind, we solemnly (and grudgingly) made our way to LAS the other night. I was tensed up. I didn't know how to react (if there WAS something to react to). Nor what to say. It was stressful. But the visit proved to be a little different. I saw him. That night. When he spoke, I cried. Quietly. It was something I had no control over. I was sure I felt love. Warmth. Peppered with a sense of regret. And longing. I could not have asked for more. As the night crept up on us, I began to understand what that funny feeling really was. I never thought that after all this time, the memory of his sudden passing would have me choking back tears. The hectic schedule that I immersed myself in voluntarily always left me exhausted. Exhausted enough not to reminisce the past. I hide myself behind the walls of denials. Beneath shadows of 'strength'. After the visit, I was stripped bare. I felt vulnerable. Should I take this as a sign that my body has had enough? That my heart has reached its saturation point?

Blow me away Bali

2006-10-26T19:58:00.000+08:00

We totally lost it today! I suddenly found myself staring at a confirmation letter. A 5 day trip to Bali! Well, money aside. What were we thinking? Didn't even stop to ensure sufficient funds in out accounts. Now I simply can't wait to sink my feet in the beautiful sandy beaches in Bali. Rest my tired body while basking in the beautiful sunset view over at Kuta Beach. Feasting on local cuisines. My god! I'm salivating. Heart palpitating! All for a very worthy cause! I've done a bit of research. Of Bali; places of interest and all. That has actually made me more than just eager to pack up and go! Only thing to do now is to apply for my leave! Bali anyone?

Freaky freak

2006-10-25T20:43:00.000+08:00

Its amazing how fate has its way of getting to you. I visited a friend today and as the account of the accident was related to us, I was grappling with freaky thoughts of my own. She was seated at the back with her niece and son. Brother-in-law was upfront driving. She said they were 'cruising' along the highway when out of nowhere a car slammed into them. The weird thing was everyone in the car only suffered grazes on their arms, less my friend. She had a fractured femur; was operated on 2 nights ago and now suffering silently in the ward at NUH. I mean, one seriously injured and the rest escaped just like that? I've come across similar stories; in a collision, everyone in the vehicles involved suffered no injuries, all but ONE who was flung out of the car and died! A pillion escaped unscathed but the rider was pronounced dead at the scene of accident. Fate does have its own unique way of finding and claiming its victim aint?

2006-10-24T16:42:00.000+08:00

[Retrospect]

It has nearly been two years. I never hoped for the pain to heal. Nor the void be filled. Only, it has never crossed my mind how much more painful the wound has turned out to be and how much it has refused to leave me. I'm slowly adapting myself to this harsh reality. To succumb to my test of life. Almost always I feel the overwhelming desire to let my tired soul fall. And let the biting pain chew on. I'm glad that the year is coming to a wrap. 2006 has been a tumultous one. The comings and goings has left me very much fragile than I was at the start. I'm not imagining things. Of that I am sure. I get the feeling that at times, I'm moving slowly, inches away from the blinding darkness of the abyss. I almost feel the emptiness of it screaming back at me. As I sit out this surprisingly serene Aidilfitri, my thoughts and memories rolled by me. I'm scared to finish this arduous race. I fear the outcome. If I ever manage to cover my ground.

[AndarieL]

I'm sitting out the crowd at 4:58 pm. Taking solace in my room. It has been a draining week. The preparation and all for Aidilfitri was hellish. I slept at 4:00 am last night, after an entire day drawing out dust and mess from the most unimaginable nooks in the house. It made me realise that I am actually cut out for harsh environment; such filth! The end result was superb. Gleams throughout! But a routine check of my now crowded living room revealed that the gleam has made way to grime! Sigh! And I do have work tomorrow! Damn! It is not so much having to turn up for work tomorrow. But, what shall wear?!

Salam Aidilfitri!

PSI : exponential DROP

2006-10-08T10:45:00.000+08:00

Sumatrans!! What in the world did u do? Ran out of forest to burn? You can come over and burn whatever we have here! I congratulated you yesterday to make sure you carry on the damn excellent job you have been doing! NOT to stop you! Now look at what you have done! No more haze. Clean air once again! Which signals work that will not cease! You people just burnt my hope crisp! So much for being reliable neighbours! Oh mighty Wind!! Blow more of those deadly fumes our way. Yes!! Please!! No body will welcome you more than us; ME!! Come on...woosh...woosh...big one now WOOSH!!

Down with Michael Fallon

2006-10-07T21:54:00.000+08:00

Michael Fallon not only embarassed Taufik, he brought shame to the whole competition. The very integrity of all parties involved in the first Singapore Idol is now in question. Who did Michael Fallon think he was kidding? Dream on!! OMG I'm outraged by his action. Something must be done to put things right. Mediacorp must make a comback with a credible explanation to field the critics. Because this is not simply about a case of major copyright errors. It is definitely casting dark clouds over the future of a budding artiste. This scandal seem to put to light how 'important' the whole competition is. How worthy Taufik is as the first Singapore Idol!

Are you for REAL?

2006-10-07T20:47:00.000+08:00

PSI: 143

(Thank you Sumatrans. Great job with the burnings. Don't stop cause you might earn me a day or two off from work!!)

I was almost thankful to be in bed at 4:30 pm on a hazy Saturday afternoon, in all of my au naturel glory - shorts and crumpled tee, my hair pointing in all geographically possible directions, head buried deep within the pages of Jason Hahn's latest masterpiece - Table for Three - More Tales of Saffy & Amanda. As it was, I've spent more than 5 hours doing this!

Asking For Trouble was Jason's first; and boy was it a page turner. It was not so much the vivid description of the two female leads; Saffy and Amanda. Not to mention the better-than-real gay buddy Barney or the hunkier-than-thou Karl. Or the spaghetti legged Jason. It was the seamless dynamics of what was damn familiar about Singapore that rooted me still. The places mentioned; the routines spelt out to the T, the gossips, the familiarity of the entire setting of this novel was enough to latch me tight. The $16.80 that I paid now seemed a meagre token in exchange of this wonderfully painted almost parallel universe of a tale.

As I greedily consumed each account, many of which were either a reflection or a foreshadow (not to mention lotsa fabricated tales) of my own life, I begin to realize that what I go through daily ain't much of a shit. Literally! I mean, as Jason put in succinctly in his novel; nothing can be worse than having my meals all ready when I step back into my house at the end of each day. How my clothes magically placed themselves in the washing machine and out again; neatly hung on the hanger is enough to turn me a shade brighter than your normal beets.

[Special message to Mr Hahn]

You are the luckiest, not to mention the most understanding of dicks when it comes to womanly problems. No one, not even that juicy sounding Karl can match up to the wealth of trade secrets you've managed to uncover about us women. If I ever come face to face with you, I am so going to plant a big fat slurpy kiss on your cheeks, and no, NOTHING will get in your way. ;) Not even Pooch! And your Mr Ong makes my boss sound like a meek angel! You have no idea how that will change my manner when I see him come Monday!! Write more of these crap will you!!

[Special message to Jac]

You have got to get these gems, darling!! I say we meet up soon and devour the pages together!!

Shell-Shocked!!

2006-10-05T21:46:00.000+08:00

[AndarieL]

I flipped through a magazine and came across an interesting article; not nearly thought provoking but definitely soul awakening. For me. It was an Editor's Note - Shell Shocked was the title given. It was not much at first glance; although Stella did provide an interesting account of the on-goings of 4 hermit crabs. Yeah. Hermit crabs. But in retrospect, it jerked me straight into reflection mode...

[Stella]

...Mama Cee would be the chick in the loud orange shell with sequins. Germs says she's a big bully who is always trying to 'chope' the little hut...

...Then there's Lily, whome Germs named after her favourite flower. She was the quiet inactive one who took up residence in the prettiest shell of all, a white one with glitter flowers. We secretly liked her best because she was such a feminine crab who picked the virginal white shell...

[AndarieL] I've noticed - on numerous occassions, how much I've imposed my personal values and beliefs onto others - may it be friends, acquaintances, colleagues, superiors; anybody at all. I see someone wearing an oversized top and more tapered-than-not faded-out jeans - and my immediate reaction would be a loud, "Eerggh!" It doesn't really help matters that most of the time others join in and cheer you on! It was what I or 'WE' always felt as a 'natural' reaction. To judge. To quickly place he or she in my personal societal strata. To do a quick review if he or she is high up above me. Or down below. To use my own social glasses to peer at others. More often that not I've come to realize - it has made me more of a social outcast.

I totally understand what Stella meant when she saw the crabs as a living analogy of the intricate webs of deceit and hypocrisy we weave in life. It is definitely funny how we tend to judge a book by its cover; or in this case, a hermit crab by its shell! Just look at how easy we labelled the crabs; purely on the shells they chose! This is the reality of the short and long sightedness of society - the pressures, the stereotypes, discrimination and ousting of beliefs we thought would be detrimental to... to... who really??

I'm glad life has brought me face-to-face literally into such a living irony. I have slowly learnt to remove the set-moulds I used to have. I have already embraced differences and sew it to my patchwork of experiences. It has made me more wholesome.

Like Stella mentioned in her short note;

[Stella] Think about the hermit crabs the next time you're guilty of making a hasty 'first-impressions' judgement. Think instead of what OTHERS are thinking about you.

[AndarieL] Hmm...

Source: LIME magazine, October 2006

reTROthoughtS 2909062027

2006-09-29T20:16:00.000+08:00

Never have I met with such a pimple of a man in my entire life! Conceited! Arrogant! Biggest show 'off'er! And to think that I have never the least stepped on his foot! What grudge does he hold against me? He will be the death of me someday. To do me injustice is one thing. To do me injustice then spread malicious tales about me is just taking it too far. What goes around will definitely come around!

reTROthoughtS 2709062113

2006-09-27T20:57:00.000+08:00

Something's been tugging me real hard lately. It refused to leave the shadows of my uncertainty. I'm shrouded in a clout of disarray. Paralysed. Numb. Unsettled nerves. I watched the world go by me today. Literally. On the bus. But I could not capture a single moment. I kept envisioning sneering expressions. Like I've been accused of committing the most heinous of crimes. Delusional am I not? Maybe it is the heat. Har. I cannot wait for the day to come when I will be freed of this chain. Will it come? It then hit me right through to my senses. Is this it? Am I too scared to break free? Visions of my past rushed through the floodgates of my deluded memory. Pathetic wimp. Get up!

2006-09-26T20:15:00.000+08:00

Had a good long chat with her. She made me realised how easy it has been. For me. That I have not seen much of this world. A good quarter of a century. And I have not even tasted the gnawing feeling of an empty stomach. The choking taste of thirst. What right do I have to smirk at others? I feel so ashamed. Like she was throwing her sarcasms straight at me. I wanted to die. I looked back innocently. Pretended that everything she said was something I've tasted before. My chances for survival should I step into her life? Zero. Seriously. she was still able to laugh some things off. I would have bawled my pants off if I went through half of what she did. I am no fighter. Neither am I a survivor. In retrospect, I don't think I'm fit to share the grievances of others. What more to dispense words of support? Should they know, I'd be the last person, EVER that they want to think of in times of desperation. My idea of desperation? Peeing in a squat-down toilet instead of the sit-down version. I desperately feel like dispensing some tight slaps on my shameless face now.

2006-09-25T22:34:00.000+08:00

[GS] ... Hady Mirza!

[Crowd at IS] screamed/shrieked/applauded/jumped/stomped

[Crowd at AL] screamed/shrieked/applauded/jumped/stomped/ran up and down the hallway/jumped some more/ hugged/ hyperventilated/ spilled water/nearly broke a spine or two

[AndarieL]

speechless.. I'm suddenly so proud. More than ever. To acknowledge my roots. Proud to claim that 'aku anak Melayu'. It's superficial. No doubt. But sometimes being the weak indivi that I am. I need extrinsic motivation. To look at people in the eye. And stand up bloody proud in the sea of sceptics. And to actually look around in pride. Thank you Hady. Thank you for making life a tad easier. You helped break through the ceiling of hope tonight. And grab that mirage in the horizon. You gave us wings. Oh yes you did. Now. I can't wait for tomorrow. To walk through the throng of critics. And claim my place. Far fetched you say? Just you wait and see. What you perceive. Is radically different in reality. This season is not just about quality of voice. Anchored delivery. Confidence. Good interpretation. You are right there Dick L. But. Not quite. It is not about the X-factor shining through. No Dick. You went a little off there. It is about people who believe. The result is living testimony of that. Now whose having the last laugh. Ha. Ha.

2006-09-18T00:11:00.000+08:00

[AndarieL@TrinitY] Out of body, out of mind experience. Thanks to e Matrix Reloaded!

What if this very world as we know it, is merely an illusion? What would really happen if the things that we have held so dear were only manifestations of our desires? Well, in any case, whoever responsible have done a FANTASTIC job. Oh that reminds me. We seriously could be any of the characters from e SIMS. Along with the other SIMs, am I only to remain a character for as long as it is?? No wonder life goes dreadfully wrong at times. I am already envisioning my life. Feelings. Perceptions. Opinions. Judgments. All arranged by the owners at stake. Of...hmm...this Game of Life?

BUAL-BUAL SENDIRI

2006-09-09T19:51:00.000+08:00

BAB 1 - GODAAN

Ini dah masuk bulan Syaaban. Nisfu Syaaban baru berlalu. Buku perkiraan baik jahatnya aku dah terselak pada lembaran yang baru. Kalau dah Syaaban, maknanya Ramadhan bakal mengusung. Bulan umat. Bulan yang penuh berkat. Bulan pengampunan bagi umat yang menyahut seruan beribadat dengan penuh ketaqwaan. Apakan tidak. Setiap pahala yang diterima akan digandakan. Tanpa batasan. Cuma bergantung pada aku. Sama ada aku nak? Atau tak nak? Ini kekadang ada berat sikit. Entahlah. Nafsu aku waktu puasa ni betulnya kuat. Kalau bulan lain, tak tengok wayang; aku sikit tak kisah. Alih-alih bulan puasa, macam-macam filem keluar. Dahlah gitu, ada ajer yang offer belanja. Kalau siang tengok, takut iman aku digugat. Maksud aku; HOLLYWOOD. Faham-faham jerlah kan. Kalau tak wayang, banyak pulak dol yang ajak keluar malam. Adoi. Kalau bulan-bulan tak puasa, semua step sibuk. Alih-alih kalau aku niat nak terawih jer ada ajer yang mengacau.

BAB 2 - PERSEDIAAN [PRA-RAMADHAN 1]

Aku cerita pasal aku jer. Takde pasal orang lain. Aku jer yang bermasalah bila Ramadhan bertandang. Sekarang ni aku tengah semput nak lunaskan hutang puasa aku. Eh, aku wanita tulen. Mesti ada kelepasan bulan Ramadhan. Tapi aku gagahkan diri aku bayar balik puasa tu. Tanggungjawab! Ada pulak yang aku dengar buat bengap jer kalau bual pasal nak bayar puasa. Yang ada pulak bual pasal fidyah. Apa kebenda nak bayar fidyah pulak? Dah bayar fidyah tu, bukan bererti hutang puasa langsai. Tulah, masjid bertepek anjurkan kelas Fardhu'ain, tak nak belajar. Dah tu, bila cakap pasal undang-undang agama, semua alih-alih macam dah terima PHD dalam Pengajian Islam. Mengarut! Kalau PHD [Piala Hang Dungu] aku boleh percaya ah...

BAB 3 - PERSEDIAAN [PRA-RAMADHAN 2]

Aku dengar-dengar khemah-khemah bagi Bazar Ramadhan pat Geylang Serai dah tersergam. Berderet-deret sepanjang Joo Chiat Road, Haig Road; macam-macam road lagi lah. Aik, kecoh betul buat persiapan. Siapa yang siapkan siapa ni? Para peniaga; yang kecil dan yang besar; peniaga tahunan atau bulanan; semua dah atur pelan. Macam nak perang aku rasa. Aku tengok iklan pat TV; "JUALAN MURAH SEMPENA AIDILFITRI"; Boleh loya tekak. Aku bukan nak bongkak. Atau nak tunjuk alim. Tapi takkanlah kita nak termakan dengan iklan-iklan macam gitu. Sampai kita lupa sebab sebenar kita berpuasa. Kita berpuasa BUKAN pasal nak raya; tapi kita BERAYA kerana berjaya berpuasa. Ramai yang dah sibuk mulakan persiapan. Yang nak tempah baju raya; dah tempah dah. Siap pergi Johor ngan Batam lagi. Yang mahukan kuih-muih penuh satu meja pun dah buat tempahan. Sekarang tukang masak/kek/kuih dah tak ambil tempahan lagi. Yang bercadang mengubah imej rumah dah pasang kontraktor ubah elok. Yang lain pulak sibuk congak-congak bajet. Tapi yang peliknya, bila orang seru bayar zakat, alih-alih bajet lari lak. Nisab tinggi sangat lah. Leceh lah. Tak tau kena bayar lah. Alasan-alasan yang kreatif semua timbul. Aku naik bingit bila ada orang sebut pasal persediaan raya ni. Too much. They've gone too far!

BAB 4 - BULAN PUASA [Members]

Memang ada lagi 2 minggu sebelum aku dan yang lain-lain mula puasa. Aku ghairah. Maklumlah, bulan puasa sekali setahun. Entah jumpa lagi ke tak bulan ni tahun depan. Tapi, tiba bab puasa ni, ada kenalan aku yang pandang enteng. Macam tak kisah sangat. Aku tahu ada dua tiga jugak kawan yang buat muka sardin hisap rokok bulan puasa. Muak aku tengok. Nak tegur, diorang members aku waktu madrasah dulu. Ada lak yang step sakit bulan puasa. Asal aku tanya jer; "Taklah, aku gastric!" Aik buddy, bila lak gastric melanda? Ada yang cakap migrain, stomach ulcer, low-sugar level, low blood count, macam-macam ah. Angin monsoon mesti melanda kalau kena puasa. Tapi kalau bab berbuka puasa; dia yang reserve tempat sana, book restoran sini, cop kerusi pat Haig Road. Adoi. Dia mabuk kaper? Benci!

BAB 5 - BULAN PUASA [PUBLIC]

Aku suka perhati telatah orang bila bulan R. Macam-macam kerenah. Pernah aku ronda Geylang bulan puasa. Jam 2:30 petang. Panas memang panas. Aku jalan nak masuk berteduh pat Pusat Makan Haig Road. Terpempan aku! Di hadapan aku satu keluarga, bapak, mak dan 2 anak tengah menghirup-hirup sup TomYam dan sedut-sedut air tebu. Muka tak sikit tunjuk rasa malu. Eh, diorang ni comatose ke? Kalau si anak-anak yang makan minum, aku boleh terima. Takpelah. Kalau si Mak yang makan minum? Aku boleh terima. Mungkin it's that time of the month. Tapi kalau dah si BAPAK pun join sekali, aku rasa nak tumbuk dia punya muka! Si pegerai pun satu. Yang jual makanan pat diorang tu apa pasal? Bila aku jeling barangan yang diorang letak atas lantai; wah shopping sakan! Nampak kotak capal, bunga-bungaan, baju raya kanak-kanak; ada pulak botol-botol kuih. E eh, tak puasa tapi nak raya!

BAB 6 - LAGU RAYA + LAMPU KELAP KELIP

Belum seminggu puasa nanti, mesti ada orang yang dah sibuk mintak lagu raya di radio. Kata nak semarakkan semangat raya! SEMANGAT RAYA???? Apa dia dah hilang akal? Kalau bulan puasa jer, aku tak suka bila mak dengar stesen WARNA dan RIA. Sebab yang aku terangkan tadi tulah aku tak suka. Yang ada nak muat turun nada dering lagu raya. Sama jugak lah! Kalau tak sibukkan lagu raya, si kaum ADAM sibuk jadi TEMPORARY LIGHTS ENGINEER. Yelah, belum puasa dah sibuk beli-belah lampu laplip baru. Latest designs lah. Latest colours lah. Longer wires lah. RUBBISH! Hari pertama puasa lampu dah ON. Aku malu!

BAB 7 - TAWAF R

Ini mesti punya. Aku jarang lah. Maklumlah. Claustrophobic! Tapi kalau dua tiga kali tak buat tawaf R bulan puasa ni, tak menjadi raya nanti! Agaknya lah! Tahun ni tambah satu lagi tempat. KGelam. Aku tak pasal orang nak tawaf. Tapi tawaf tu biarlah senonoh sikit. Ini tawaf pakai tank tops. Hipsters. Mini skirts. Abih berbual tak jaga. Aku bingit! Diorang ingat cantik kaper? Ada jugak yang tawaf ni siangnya tak puasa, alih malam sibuk-sibuk pulak!

BAB 8 - MALAM RAYA

Memang malam ni sepatutnya syahdu. Sebaiknya, ustazah aku kata kita bermunajat, membaca Al-Quran, bertakbir dan bertahmid beramai-ramai. Maklumlah. Dah berjaya berpuasa sebulan. Ini tidak. Ada pulak, siang-siang dah rebus dan MAKAN ketupat! Jahil sangat ke kita ni? Dahlah gitu, malam raya dah jadi macam COUNTDOWN PARTY! Salam Lebaran di SURIA lain, rancangan di radio lain. Semua dah mabuk raya! Hilang nikmat puasa!

BAB 9 - PAGI RAYA

Tentu sekali, kaum ADAM yang membanjiri masjid-masjid di Singapura. Menunaikan solat sunat AidilFitri. Yang musykilnya, solat Subuh tak buat. Tapi sibuk nak kejarkan Solat Raya. Dei tambi! Kau ikut mazhab mana pulak? Lepas tu, ramai-ramai berarak ke Pusara Abadi. Nak ajak yang dah pergi enjoy sekali ke? Tak ke kau sedar yang sejurus selepas imam turun dari mimbar, mereka kembali menjalani seksaan kubur? Kamu di atas membedal ketupat dan rendang. Girang bergambar di tanah perkuburan. Yang di bawah? Dibedal kerana gagal mendidik anak cucu melakukan yang betul di pagi RAYA.

BAB 10 - MUHASABAH DIRI

Aku harap aku jadi orang yang lebih baik bulan puasa ni. Tak termakan nafsu dunia. Aku nak dapat berkat bulan puasa. Dan aku harap members aku di luar sana kongsi harapan aku. Kita umat alaf baru. Takkan asyik duduk di takuk lama! Selamat Menyambut Bulan Ramadhan!

Ride On The Wild Side

2006-09-06T01:18:00.000+08:00

You either work alone

Or operate in groups

You stand erected

Either on the yellow line or just slightly beyond it

(to avoid any penalty I suppose)

Your eyes bulge right through the window panels

Make that the several pairs of handy eyes around you bulge right through

You make sure you BLOCK the entrance

And of course you made certain the exit was not made available too

You play peek-a-boo with the people inside

And yes you wouldn't dream of leaving the people outside out of it

You even sought to doing a London-bride-is-falling-down moves

Through any gaps you sniff upon

You rush in like a hungry wolf or hyena on the hunt

Yes yes you and your kind look even more ferocious than those wild beasts

(e late Steve Irwin would have agreed with me, right Steve?)

You pounce on your prey mercilessly

All hands and legs put into vigorous stunts

Pushing and pulling, jostling and rushing

Some of you even get as low as sitting on innocent victims!

Not to mention the countless times you almost sat on my THIGHS!!

I am irked by you!

I am thousands of Singapore dollars poorer because of YOU

(cab fares of course!)

You put all of us at risk

Not to mention the roller coster ride our blood level experience

each time you are out on the hunt

And they say I am being overly-sensitive?

A big shout out to all aunties/uncles/Kiasees. Thank you. NOT. For the wild ride everytime.
Ever considered joining the zoo?

DIVERSION

2006-09-03T15:25:00.000+08:00

Time: 1:45pm

AndarieL was all alone

[Was getting ready to tuck into lunch; Noodles in Clear Broth with Mushrooms, Carrots. Ok ok that was beside the point really. My point is, i was seated comfortably, legs poised, stomach rumbling; Suddenly...]

DING...DONG... DING..DONG..DING.DONG

[AndarieL] Damn! What is the rush?

[AndarieL] tiptoed my way to the front door; in the glamorous of glamourous PJs; peeped and OMG!!! (Life was sucked right off me!!)

[AndarieL] 2 police officers??? What in the world would they want with me? My mind took a quick whirl back to my desktop; LW up and running!!! Aarrgghh!! Did they bug my entire house? Damn!! What should I do?? OMG..OMG OMG!!!! No time to backup too!!! Should that be my greatest worry?!?

[sub-AndarieL] Go jump out! NOW!!

[AndarieL] Crazy??? I still want to live @$#^!!!!

[AndarieL] did a quick makeover...spritz of my MoonFlower took me back to the front door (DingDong..DingDong..)

Door was opened, a plastic smile all set in place and in the sweetest tone ever..

[AndarieL] Yes? (looking as surprised and innocent as my faltering spirit could muster)

[PO 1] Did you happen to hear anyone quarelling? Fighting?

[PO 2] Along the corridor?

[AndarieL] Horrified look suitably plastered Ohh..No I did'nt. I'm sorry. What happened? (like I care... Are you going to arrest me NOW?)

[AndarieL] smiles...

[PO1] Oh it is ok. Thank you. (was his eyes darting?Possibly looking for my active LW?)

[Po2] smiled (was that a sarcastic smile he just threw at me?!?)

[AndarieL] Thank you. Closed the door. (rushed back to my room ala-Charlie's AngeLs to check if my desktop has been taken away by the DART team during that small diversion. Thank god it was still there.)

And lesson learnt?

[AndarieL] Don't bother answering the door the next time round.

LW - 100% completed

[AndarieL] WooHOOOO

Aaahhhhhh...

2006-09-03T11:12:00.000+08:00

the following is simply captivating...I like...

So,I'm feeling much worse now. You're better. Your designer drug won't work for me. Connect to a three volt. I hope your battery dies. How could you run on such voltage? All the same, I remain the one to blame and I'm demonized, purified, justified as you let yourself show. So now you'll love these screams, what's left of me. Love these screams like I do. Don't speak my name. As the infinite stops cold just nine and the six are gone. Guess I was the one to ride that dirty ride that is turning so fast now I cannot hold on but, at this pace, who would want to? Don't ever speak my name again. So, now you'll love these screams, what's left of me. Love these screams like I do.

courtesyofafikillcaustic

WHAT A DAY IT WAS

2006-09-01T22:18:00.000+08:00

A lot of things were drumming through my mind the whole of yesterday. The day itself was an irony. I dread the day; not because I fear zero recognition nor appreciation. I'm immuned to such things. On the contrary, the day itself was dedicated to recognizing effort. Zealous effort. That may go well unrecognized without such an occassion. It's not what the sloggings are for after all.

It was really what I witnessed; the on-goings of the past weeks that have led up to the culmination of the event yesterday. The entire showdown. Who were most of them rejoicing for anyway? And the dress-ups. What was that all about? Many of whom I thought should be applauded were left cold. It was weird.

Many a times I was immersed in a tide of tears. It wasn't about sadness. It was really about how much they actually internalised the significance. Or how much they didn't. The thank-yous. You are 'much-appreciated' hugs thrown around. You do know what it all entails, or Don't you? I'm thankful that next-week provides a sort of void. From such blatant hypocrisy.

BUT

Thank you to those who meant what they say. My dearies. You are much appreciated. I was humbled by your sweet words and gestures. I love the little notes. I will read it religiously. To regain my strength. I love the gifts. They brighten up my days. To shine my way through to help you. Yes. I love the smiles you willingly shared with me. They illuminate my nights; whilst I mark. Oh yes, the bouquet was amazing. And the cake did make up for the work you failed to choke up for me. Thank you. Allow me to return the gestures. Allow me to help you through. Please. Grant me that.

[I understand now friend when you advised me to take all these as a 'show'.

A cabaret of disillusioned beings. Thank you for pulling me back to the reality. I owe you Big!]

Miss [Interpretation]

2006-09-01T21:28:00.000+08:00

Lost At Home

Lost. At home.

Undeniable frustration. To get it right.

Familiarity. Breeds lethargy.

To fight off. To extinguish. Traces of weakness.

Rise. To overcome the voices. Mockery. Of Resentment.

You Shout. You Shout. You Shout.

What do I hear?

Silence.

You shout. Silence.

Harmonised conflict.

Hate Me

Tell me. Shun me not.

Begging. Ignore me not.

Waiting. Tell me off.

What If We Could

Fly me away.

Pull me out.

Embrace the pain.

Kiss my anguish.

Lick the nightmares.

Same Old Stuff

Automatic. Reflex.

Mass-produce.

Expect. Norms.

Kill it off.

Ingest. Digest.

Stay the way YOU are. I like.

DiagnoSIS : AGONY

2006-08-28T08:03:00.000+08:00

Diagnosis : Gastric Flu [1 day MC]

Conversation with the doc who thinks he can charm me; just like he did with the other patients!

[DannyLee] It should be a case of either food poisoning or gastric flu. But you told me you that there were no others who reported similar symptoms, am I rite?

[AndarieL] Nod nod nod [I don't really care]

[DannyLee] This could possibly be caused by your allergy to some food.

[DannyLee] It could be stress also...

[AndarieL] Really?? [now you're talking my language]

[DannyLee] You need lots of.... [voice suddenly became inaudible]

[AndarieL] ... ... ...

[DannyLee] You do require an MC...don't you?

[AndarieL] Yes I do. [thought you were never gonna ask]

[DannyLee] I day MC ya

[AndarieL] Yes please [I'd ask for a year's MC if you don't note that down quickly!]

[DannyLee] You take care!

[AndarieL] [shuffles out quickly]

[AndarieL] Gosh!!! So many variety of medicine to be ingested!!!!! Arrggghhhhhhh!!!!

[NiceLady@eCounter] ..... that'll be $28 please

[NeTS] Sigh, here I go again!

[NiceLady@eCounter] Thank you!

[AndarieL] Sigh!!!

Note:

AndarieL HATES/ LOATHES medicines, 'cept for paracatemol. Andariel will be in agony for the next 3 or 4 days. All..YOUR fault!

Sunday Morn Ramblings

2006-08-27T10:44:00.000+08:00

Woohoo..cheap **** e bag! Hahaha! I felt tonnes lighter when I was out the other night! Who said that a night of 'sins' can't do you good. It's just that sometimes, I need to let go. The excess baggage that I drag around only serves to weigh me down.

Oh yeah, JAQ C, hows LOndon?? I'm totally jealous that you are there! I wish you could have taken me with you! The LIttle Red DoT ain't good for me, not at this point at least!

Was tempted to spend this short hols in BALI, but, slipped my mind that my MON and FrI will be taken up by the seminars. I think I might be arranging for extra Lessons too! See what I mean when I can't let go? Enough is enough! But the question is, how much is ENOUGH really?

Oh yes! I'm in love. With 'Erti Pertemuaan'. With LoloQ, the entire piece is simply captivating. Ning's voice and Jay2 entwined seamlessly resulting in a dramatic and emotionally infused delivery. Lyrics. Deep.

Menerjah batas

Gelora pun berserpihan

Menghempaskan buih

Di lautan

Acapkali tumpas

Masih jua menyusuri

Arus pergolakan

Setianya

Begitulah adat mestinya hidup

Selagi jasad dan hayat berpaut

Rintangan harus bersahut

Benar kata

Jatuh bangun seorang lelaki

Bergantung siapa

Wanita di sisi

Mujur tuah nasib

Diri kita ketemui

Jikalaulah tidak

Mungkin tak ku sedari

Bukankah kita ini dicipta Tuhan

Sepasang tapi berlainan

Lemah sana, sini kekuatan

Masing-masing

punyai bibit kelebihan

Supaya saling memerlukan

Bertemu demi menyulam

Cahaya nurani dan akal fikiran

Naluri serta perasaan

Menyingkap erti tangisan

Bukankah kita ini dicipta Tuhan

Sepasang tapi berlainan

Lemah sini, sana kekuatan

Dirimu, diriku

Bagaikan pelita

Yang memercikkan sinar

Menyuluhi malam

Note:

AndarieL [19 hours left to...]

dniw:eR

2006-08-26T23:37:00.000+08:00

Personal Msg on Windows Live Messenger :

Me [splitting headache][nausea][stomach upset][extreme fatigue]

Song playing in my mind : Love's A Bitch : Quiet Riot

Rewind:

25th August 2006

2:30 - 5:00 - Site tour of the new building. Fantastically big but ironic that such a space can limit one's interaction. Selected workstations. Mine was strategically located near the window facing the classroom blocks. Not bad especially when I am comfortably nestled between people I'm comfortable with. Yay!

5:00 - Left the site, was immediately stung by the heat. Damn I could sense the headache creeping in fast and furious! Didn't look like I was in for a smooth night. What a way to welcome the onset of the weekend and a short work week ahead.

6:00 - The headache was pushing me to the limit! I couldn't get up from the couch. Was still in my work clothes. I felt like I was falling backwards. Into the abyss. Beyond reach!

8:30 - I saw at least 10 missed calls! I couldn't answer the calls. Didn't have an ounce of energy to do anything. Lest to drag my feet to the bathroom.

10:00 - Was out of the house. With a bag FULL of arsenals to help me fight through the night in school.

11:00 - Dawn - Go figure! [Night in school/ Dark and danky/ Hot and sweaty/ Tired and Angry]

Rewind:

26th August 2006

Its weird that the dawn of a new day was embraced with hesitation and dread.

I'm totally losing it! No joke!

But I felt like I was in a ***dream, like I was refused exit!

I 'm scared.

Still am.

6:30 - Locked the Girl's T. Had a Rah-Rah show of our own. Or so I thought. Masked ourselves. Again.

7:15 - Coffee was made. Tops were pressed. Masks were re-done. TAstefully this time round. Or so we thought!

8:00 - Hady Mirza was awesome. He's definitely taking himself through to the FinALS. With that voice and emotions to match. If he fails, Gosh! Go figure!

9:00 - Welcome to AB! Let me... Oh it's...Ke sana ya... Oh di sebelah atas...Takde, ok Sebentar ya..Terima Kasih [All in a Days worK!]

3:00-4:30 - Had that same feeling again - That I was pushed back into that dream. I'm LOST!

5:00- Pain was insurmountable! I felt my body was failing me. This was not supposed to happen! I stepped up. What choice do I have?

[Sub-AndarieL] - GO FIGURE!

7:00-8:30 - Crowd was good. Well-done. And I was done for. Mom, I need you so!

9:50 - Arrived! My sanctuary! Asylum! Nest! Home!

TRAIL

2006-08-19T13:08:00.000+08:00

I look back.
A trail follows.

I see.
Faces.
Those of happiness.
Many of sorrows.

I hear.
Voices.
Sweet lullabys.
And mournful odes.

I smell .
Victory.
Defeat.
Passion.
Hatred.

I reached out.
I felt hope.
And shattered dreams.

I hold tight.
Dreams.
And splintered desires.

I will tread.
I will steer.
The reins of life.

REWIND: THURSDAY

2006-08-18T22:20:00.000+08:00

THURSDAY

It didn't start off well.

Late. Damn the traffic. And the top didn't work either. Oh god, do I see work undone?

The load wasn't easing the transition.

7 periods. Even the toughest will falter. First 2 was hell. Next 5 was chilly. Sweaty even. Was I even prepared?

Not while I was labouring in pain.

Oh did I mention all these were done while I gritted my teeth in twisted pain. Masked in smiles.

I did not seek solace.

Who in the world cares? I don't bother people. I really don't.

And you think you had it bad.

I don't think you know what you were saying. You aren't me.

Step up.

You're scared, aren't you?

Try me.

Give it up already.

Precious Moments.

Their smiles made my day. Their relentless effort to fight through the time with me ought be mentioned in this sacred crypt. I'm heartened. I love you people. Just that I choose not to reveal it to you dearies.

succumbing to pressure from...Nokia?

2006-08-10T21:40:00.000+08:00

[Broken Vow - Lara Fabien]

[AndarieL] Do I get this or...

[AndarieL] Do I look at the specifications? Or should I gear myself towards the design?

[AndarieL] Which one should I get? Please? (sent this msg thru all channels)

[All 1] I'm not sure of the specifications..Maybe go with what u like!

[sub-AndarieL] I like it both; no no in fact I like it all!! Thanks!

[All 2] No no get the N72!! the other one ain't good enough!

[All 3] What is the other one like?

[All 4] What do you like?

[All 5] What was it before your current one?

[AndarieL] AArrrggghhhh!!! stares hard at the screen; screen's displaying the phone in its wholesome glory

tiba-tiba..hidup ku renung...

2006-08-10T10:25:00.000+08:00

[Rob Thomas - Lonely No More (Accoustic)]

[AndarieL berkarya]

Di atas batas kehidupan
Aku tempuhi titian cabaran
Aku rentasi padang dugaan
Untuk sampai ke pintu kejayaan

Di atas puncak kejayaan
Aku genggam ijazah kebebasan
Aku terima piala keyakinan
Untuk mengorak peta kehidupan
aku yang tersendiri.

Di peta kehidupan
Aku lakar rajah pencapaian
Aku guris baris kemajuan
Untuk membenarkan kewujudan impian

Violence..Rampant??

2006-08-10T10:08:00.000+08:00

[AndarieL] Call me ignorant, but I honestly thought this was a thing of the past!

[AndarieL] Maybe I've been kept too cosy in my comfort zone.

[AndarieL] Is it something I should be thankful about? I mean that I'm kept in the dark. Or the darkness is simply my own doing?

[AndarieL] The stats a real eye opener!

Craazyy Meezzyy

2006-08-10T09:31:00.000+08:00

[AndarieL] When I spend time in front of my computer, like today... (holiday for us servants...oopps I mean civil servants...dedicated ones mind you!!)

[sub-AndarieL] Your friends won't be too happy when they read this! Be more tactful!!

[AndarieL] ...I end up doing so many things; it gets too overwhelming at times. Like publishing so many entries in an hour. Looking for wacky+insulting+crazy+queer avatars to annoy the hell out of them; apart from checking out websites, mails, chatting, not-often-but-have-done-it-before downloading materials from everywhere and lately have been checking out online competitions!! Hahahahaha

[sub-AndarieL] What is wrong with you? Don't you have enough at hand??

[AndarieL] This is an excerpt of what I wrote for The Body Shop competition recently; haha in less than a 100 words to describe my passion for The Body SHop..

Everytime I step into a Body Shop outlet, I feel enveloped in a warm sense of relaxation and delirious excitement. Maybe it's in the way all the good stuff are placed on every shelf. Maybe it's the sight of the shower gels of every colour lined up in perfect harmony. Maybe it's the wide array of perfume oils that seem to beckon me over. Maybe it's the perfume sprays and mists that twinkle in the soft orange light of the store. Maybe it is just the way The Body Shop is.

[AndarieL] I wanna WIN!!!!!!!!!!!

PoC No More

2006-08-10T08:40:00.000+08:00

[AndarieL] I have this sinking feeling that of the 4 million odd Singaporeans, I'm the only one who have NOt caught PoC. Arrgghhh!!!! Blame it on my friend. Yes! It is only later on today that this friend is free enough of all engagements to accompany ME; yes ME the poor, soul to catch PoC.

[sub-AndarieL] Serves you right!!

[AndarieL] So now I'm in the wrong eh?? Guilty of? Charged with?

[sub-AndarieL] Yes!! You!! Not hardy enough. Neither are u firm!

[AndarieL] Not listening!!! Lala lalalala La Lala Lala

[sub-AndarieL] Are you not going to blame them?? Blame that one particularly??

[AndarieL] Leave them ALONE!!

ROARing good times

2006-08-10T08:08:00.000+08:00

[AndarieL] I felt a wave of nostalgic feeling engulfing me yesterday as I sat in front of my TV set watching the ongoing celebrations at the National Stadium. Days of glory that was celebrated within the boundaries of the National Stadium were reminisced. I rarely visit the National Stadium except for some official celebrations and events during my secondary school days. Thus it was hard for me to get a good bearing of my feelings when news that the site will make way for a new sport hub hit the media. But hey, that's life, the old will have to make way for the new; hard as it may seem.

[AndarieL] But the one thing that I will always remember about the stadium is definitely the Kallang Wave. It's no different than other waves done in a similar manner round the globe. But it is the sight of Singaporeans of various creed' coming together in perfect harmony and tandem; moving up and down to get the wave in motion.

[AndarieL & All] Waahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (hands up, body erected, mouths shouting in high pitched synchrony; ala-Kallang Wave)

[AndarieL] Who's All??

2006-07-30T18:08:00.000+08:00

[AndarieL] I couldn't bring myself to smile. Nod to agree. Laugh at jokes. I can't reassure my Mom that I'm ok cos I am NOT feeling fine. I wanted to cry. The only things I could force out were sarcastic remarks. What's happening to me?

[e ResT] Must be stress. From work?
[e ResT] Leave her alone.
[e ResT] Crazy!
[e ResT] Oh god, she's damn rude.

[AndarieL] I can only sit and cry. Help!

Sad, sad, sad

2006-07-30T10:17:00.000+08:00

[10:14 am]

[I faced that weird sensation again. That feeling; my emotions start to get the best of me. Melancholy, sadness, reminising the past. Is this what depression is all about. i can't seem to get a firm hold on myself. It's frightening.]

[AndarieL] looking into space, tears welling up, head resting weakly on the headboard, IpoD blasting, Air-con blowing softly

[e RooM] quiet, quiet, helpless

[AndarieL] cry, crying, cried...SIGH...SIGH...SIGH

[e RooM] quiet, quiet, quiet

[AndarieL] browsing http://www.hpb.gov.sg/hpb/default.asp?pg_id=1070, eyes scanning the page...

Anxiety

Anxious People:
Worry constantly that something bad will happen to them
Get irritated easily
Can't concentrate
Become depressed
Can't sleep properly
Complain of stomach aches and diarrhoea
Have sweaty hands and tremble a lot
Have tense and painful neck and back muscles
Have bad headaches
Breathe very quickly (like someone who is frightened)

Depression

Depressed People:
lose interest in people and abandon their hobbies
lose physical energy to do day-to-day tasks
have significantly lower levels of three important brain chemicals norepinephrine, dopamine, and serotonin (the chemicals that make us happy)
contemplate suicide

Deal with Depression!!

It's okay to be depressed.
Admit it, then try to identify the cause.
It might be difficult, but stick to your normal routine.
Change (whether it is positive or negative) is a source of stress and can intensify depression.
Plan some quiet times each day when you can relax, pamper yourself, do something you enjoy, or just 'get away from it all'.
Do something you enjoy.
Join an activity in school or the community centre, read your favourite book or go shopping!
Fresh air always helps - don't stay cooped up at home!
Talk to someone!

[AndarieL] i need to...need to...

[AndarieL] I need to change, I need to relax, I need to pamper myself, I need to enjoy activities, I WiLL go shopping (more often), I will TRY to talk to someone!

[Sub-AndarieL] YEAH

amboi...melebih lak awak eh...

2006-07-28T08:10:00.000+08:00

[Dalam teksi, jam 8:45 malam]

[PTK] Balik kerja ke?
[Andariel] (muak bab PTK bukak cerita tapi sebab tak nak aibkan orang lain, terpaksa membalas) Ye... (senyap)
[PTK] Jauh eh kerja...
[Andariel] Hmmm... (mak oi, asik nak tanya jer. PT ke wartawan ni?)
[PTK] (yang masih khayal dengan soalan-soalan dia) Kerja apa?
[Andariel] (ya rabbi, perlukah aku terus melayan sedangkan hatiku berat) Nak kena bilang ke? Tak payah takpe kan?
[PTK] blah..blah..blah..
[Andariel] (memandang ke luar, terasa macam nak melompat keluar dari teksi.. Boleh pengsan!!)
[PTK] blah..blah..blah..
[PTK] blah..blah..blah..
[PTK] blah..blah..blah..
[Andariel] lambat lak nak tiba destinasi..Ini cubaan ke??

[Turun jer dari teksi, terhoyang-hoyang dibuatnya nak larikan diri dari pandangan matanya yang tajam. Giler ke si PTK tu? Ya rabbi, phobia lak nak naik teksi sekarang]

Why are Men happier than Women?

2006-07-26T19:59:00.000+08:00

[AndarieL] Why oh why? Is it the genes? Or maybe its cos of the Jean(s) around them?
[Screen] What do I care? I don't face gender discrimination, let alone gender nitty-gritty.
[Andariel] ...

1. We keep our last name.
2. The garage is all ours.
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. Chocolate is just another snack.
5. We can be President.
6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
7. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
8. The world is our urinal.
9. We never have to drive to another gas station just because this one's just too icky.
10. Same work, more pay.
11. Wrinkles add character.
12. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
13. People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them.
14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
16. One mood, ALL the time.
17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
18. We know stuff about tanks.
19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
20. We can open all our own jars.
21. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
23. Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
24. Everything on our face stays its original color.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
27. We almost never have strap problems in public
28. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
29. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
30. We don't have to shave below our neck.
31. Our belly usually hides our big hips.
32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
33. We can "do" our nails with a pocket-knife.
34. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
35. We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.

SyaiR ku Yang UNO

2006-07-24T19:51:00.000+08:00

Tersebutlah kisah di suatu masa,
Hidup si dara, bersama keluarga,
Seorang ibu, dan adik berdua,
Ditinggal ayah, panggilan yang Esa.

[Andariel] I felt an overwhelming desire to write and recite the syair, something that was altogether quite queer. Surprisingly, I'm enjoying every minute of doing so and DO NOT ask me why. Syair is a beautiful classic form of Malay poetry; to be recited in a specific manner.

[Everybody] Crappy nice!

[AndarieL] You people really asked for it. Watch out!

SickeniNg Experience

2006-07-23T18:25:00.000+08:00

[Scene]
Was seating in e freezing Feeder Bus Service 962, on a contradictingly hot and arid night. Made myself comfortable in the back row of the bus.
Armed myself with PinkYMe (my trusty old IpoD), was ready to enjoy the swaying and rickity ride of the bus all the way home when I had to chance upon an irritating OLD, Dirty and SmeLLy Looking Male on my right.
With his sickeningly short and mouldy looking pair of Bermudas, he nonchalantly raised up both his LEGS, propped them up on the seats in front and looked around him like he just did the noblest thing on Earth that might earn him a Nobel Peace Prize.

[AndarieL] What did I do to deserve such a sighting?
[Reflection] Don't ask me. Look at him!
[AndarieL] I feel ashamed. I'm not sure for what reasons exactly. Maybe it's because I didn't pluck up enough courage to tell him off. Or maybe I didn't manage to throw out the LOudesT cough to shake him out of his BAD attitude. Or maybe, cos I didn't know what to do?
[Reflection] Look!
[AndarieL] Do I have to live with this for the rest of my journey? My goodness, he just destroyed my night. I hate him for not having a single strand of guilty conscience on him. He reminded me of a typical Singaporean behavior. As long as I feel happy, I don't give a shit about the rest.
[Reflection] Look! (Bus Inspector got up, did his duty AnD he did NOT do anything to that monster of a man. URRGGHHH!)
[AndarieL] Helpless!!

Kejutan..atau Dikejutkan?

2006-07-23T11:02:00.000+08:00

[Lagu Bukan Kerana Nama yang dilaung-laungkan Taufik Batisah semasa di APM 2005 sedang berkumandang. Membuatku termenung sebentar tentang apa sebenarnya yang cuba aku lakukan dalam dunia ini; tugasku, masa lapangku, antara tanggungjawab yang perlu aku tunaikan]

[AndarieL]
Pokok kiambang di tepi paya
Bunganya ungu subur melata
Bahasa ibunda bahasa bangsa
Dijunjung didaulat sepanjang masa

[Skrin]
Apa-apa an kamu ni...

[AndarieL]
Kita dikatakan...
pasangan bahagia...
Kini terasing juga...

[Skrin]
...

Reality Check

2006-07-22T20:37:00.000+08:00

[Scene]
8:35 pm
Sembawang, Singapore
Listening to some crappy old music on e radio.
And they call that a song?!

[AndarieL] I did something wrong, or did I?
[e 4 WaLLs] Staring...
[AndarieL] (ponders)... I'm not even sure myself...Maybe that WAS partly why I bolted.
[e 4 WaLLs] Staring...
[AndarieL] Why do I always get such FUCKED up attitude from these MORONIC individuals.
[e 4 WaLLs] Stares.
[AndarieL] Now I dread e onset of e Work week. Very much!
[e 4 WaLLs] Staring...helplessly.
[AndarieL] Sigh. Oh God, give me strength.

NooN NudgE

2006-07-18T12:18:00.000+08:00

Subconscious minD [Bear this in mind]
AndarieL [Silently Nods...Off]

When one door closes
another door opens;
but we so often
look so long
and so regretfully
upon the closed door,
that we do not see
the ones which open
for us.

Alexander Graham Bell

on MC..(blessing for sanctity sake)

2006-07-18T10:16:00.000+08:00

[Scene]

SO7 droning the morning sounds on my ITunes.
Sitting at my desk.
Staring blankly at e screen.
Desperately tyring to choke out a few lines.
Damn.
Must be the throat.
Somehows its affecting my brains.
I'm to stay home.
By doc's orders.
Not that Im complaining.
Just restless.

Andariel [Help me!]
e world [Silence]

Andariel [Are u not listening]
e world [Silence]

Andariel [Ok ok I'll work it out myself]
e World [Silence]

AndarieL @ HomE

WorkOuT DiarY - PhasE...

2006-07-02T11:18:00.000+08:00

0700 - Was it a tad harder for me to get up just now? My whole body was aching; must be the stupid decision I made 2 days ago to jump that distance. I almost didn't want to open my eyes, save the bulgy feel of my abdomen. Errgghhh!

0730 - Did warm ups. I noticed that the 'regulars' were not around. They must still be snuggling cozily in bed with their fats. Oh well...Off I went with my rounds.

0815 - Gave up entirely to cover the grounds. How'd those health freaks ever get their drive from? I've spent my time staring at beauty and health magazines - paying undivided attention to the super wasboard abs some of the models had, hoping that mine would suddenly decide to shape up too - MY FOOT!! Can I see this as pre-destined? Hahaha

Based on FITNESS magazine; I've decided to do the following religiously; can I?

Do 10 crunches every morning before I get out of bed - soft mattress can increase intensity
Pick 1 meal a week and eat whatever I DESIRE....aaahhhhhhhhh. or should I make it 2?
Find a picture of myself that I love - place it in a prominent place. What is this for again?

Andariel @ PlaY

Monolog Aku (Bersama Ayah)

2006-06-30T08:44:00.000+08:00

Dalam kesayuan pagi

yang kelat dengan kemalasan,

aku menangisi kekosongan hati

mengimbau kenangan lampau

yang masih mekar, mercup memenuhi kotak fikiranku.

Aku reda dengan takdir

tapi, keperitan jiwa yang mengiringku

menelusuri jalan-jalan kehidupan

menggalas tanggungjawab,

membuat aku terus sayu.

Aku teringin membaringkan diriku di sisi mu

mendakap semula kehangatan dirimu

yang dahulunya menyinari siang malamku,

aku mendamba ketegasanmu

membimbing aku setiap langkah perjalananku.

Aku lemah.

Aku tidak berdaya melontar jauh keperitan ini.

Berikan aku tenaga.

Aku dahagakan semangatmu.

Tolonglah. Ayah.

Adakah kau mendengar pinta anakmu ini.

Oh ayah!

Aku gembira sekiranya titipan sayangku

kau terima.

Akan ku junjung namamu,

akan ku dukung impianmu,

akan ku julang bayang dirimu,

agar kau tenang di alammu,

sekalung doa,

sejambak Al-Fatihah,

ku kirimkan lagi ayah,

buat bekalanmu,

di alam Barzakh.

AndarieL @ MemorY LanE

OnseT of MadnesS

2006-06-25T10:25:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow signifies the start of work cum madness, stress, tension, conflict, depression and the list can go on. I am no sceptic. Neither am I a pessimist. I am simply psyching myself out. No harm. It's best that I get myself ready for the worst. Anything good that surfaces will definitely be a bonus. It will be long, work I mean. Long. Long and tedious. Long and tedious and sometimes never-ending. But long and tedious and never-ending and sometimes exciting. Not to mention heartening. And challenging. I am looking forward to work. Why shouldn't I? I want to celebrate the good things. Good things at work. Will definitely bring about good things in life. Yes. Yes. Yes!

AndarieL @ WorK